That’s why I love health coaching because you get to walk beside people on their health and wellness journeys. You get to see the physical shifts but also the mental shifts - the aha moments - if you will. When you hear a client’s language change and see they are implementing new things in their lives, feeling better and really achieving their goals. There is something magical when you see client shifts and even more so on the other side of it. The confidence increases and they genuinely feel empowered to make better health choices. And that is what I love about health coaching. 

But, unfortunately many people don’t know about health coaches or understand what one does. As a result, many potential clients miss out on our expertise because of this. For this reason I wanted to dispel a few myths about health coaching and provide a little education because that’s what we do! So, below are 5 myths about health coaches that are busted so you know the benefits you can get from working with one.

1. Tells the client what to do. I once was at an event and overheard someone make a comment to the effect of, “Great, like I need someone telling me what to do!” I thought it was an interesting comment because the person never stopped, never talked to me, they just said the comment out loud and kept walking. I wondered if that was the general sentiment about coaches because it hurt to hear it. One of the things that may surprise a client is that a coach, particularly a health coach, doesn’t tell you what to do. It’s quite a collaborative relationship. A coach works with the client to understand their goals, challenges, lifestyle and more to co-create a plan that works for the client. A coach is responsible for understanding the client and clarify so the client can get to know themselves better. The coach empowers the client to make changes in their life to effectively and sustainably achieve their goals. So, the coach doesn’t tell the client what to do, rather they use their training and experience to provide ideas and solutions, of which get discussed and added to a plan that the client executes. If the plan needs to be modified, then the coach and client work together to make adjustments and see how that goes. But it is important for the client to agree to all activities because it is, in fact, their life and their goals. And since the goal is empowerment, the client learns tools so they can execute and eventually not need the coach once goals are achieved.

2. Is the same as a trainer. Many people don’t understand the difference between a personal trainer and a health coach. It may be because both can help you reach your health goals. A personal trainer is focused on your physical body and helps you with the exercises you need for your body to be stronger, lose weight, or whatever your physical goals are. A coach helps you to improve your health, but is focused on the behaviors you are doing which contribute to your health. If you have a goal to lose weight, a coach will help to clarify the goal, develop a plan to achieve that goal, strategies to overcome barriers, and guide you to organize yourself for success. Part of your plan could be going to the gym and/or getting a trainer if you don’t know the exercises to do or if you need to maximize time. A trainer will develop your exercise program for your physical body and make sure you exercise in a safe manner in pursuit of your goal. Will you talk to your trainer during your sessions? Of course! And they can make recommendations regarding your health and fitness, but technically they should focus on the physical body. The trainer also uses equipment to assess your health and fitness, which can be used as the basis for your exercise plan and for tracking progress toward your goals. The trainer and coach can work hand in hand, but each has a specific scope of practice to stay within when they work with you as a client. Additionally, a person can hold both certifications which then opens up their ability to help you with both types of activities.

3. Is just a cheerleader. Yes, a health coach will help to motivate you as you work together to achieve your goals. A health coach wants you to succeed! So they will do everything they can to support you through your process - the ups and the downs. It can be a cherished relationship - that between the coach and client. The coach gets to know the client in a way that others may not if the client is willing to open up enough. The coach understands why the client has their goals and holds those goals as the standard throughout the coach-client relationship. The coach has to believe even when the client cannot. They hold that light for them when there is stress or when life shows up differently than expected. When the client gets down or forgets why they started the journey in the first place, the coach helps in the motivation process and to remember why the client wants what they want. And if that changes, the coach helps to re-direct and focus again. The coach may play many roles, however a cheerleader is only one of them.

4. Doesn’t have a place. Have you ever tried to make a change related to your health? Sometimes it can be easy by making a couple of tweaks to your daily routine. But other times you may be faced with something major and you simply don’t know where to start. A doctor may say, “you need to make some changes or you’ll have to get on medication” or you’ll change careers and need to wear old clothes but all of a sudden only a few of those items fit. You know you need to lose weight so a personal trainer is a logical choice, but so is a health coach. In scenario 1, the doctor urges the client to make a change to avoid medication, but the client may not know what that means. All they know is there is a sense of urgency if they want to avoid medication. Change is necessary now! But what does that mean and where do they start? A health coach can help make sense of what the doctor said, clarify and define goals, develop a plan, provide education, and motivate along the way. In scenario 2, the client has let some time pass and may not understand which habits have led to the clothes feeling tighter. If they hire a personal trainer, the trainer will be able to help with the physical body, but this person needs something more. They need someone to help them with everything outside of the gym. This includes the way they spend their time, how they handle their mindset, how they engage their support system and much more. In both scenarios, the person needs assistance restructuring their days, getting education about their health and bodies, clarity in their goals and challenges, and motivational support. Again for some this is possible on your own, but for many it can be overwhelming and a coach helps reduce that stress tremendously. A coach can also increase your likelihood for long-term success because you learn to change the behaviors that cause the situation. 

5. Is a counselor or therapist. Although there are some psychological principles used by health coaches when working with a client, a coach usually doesn’t have a degree in psychology. We have a certification (at minimum) which includes behavior change principles, rooted in psychology, but also inclusive of exercise principles too. Many of us have degrees in areas like kinesiology or exercise science, but that isn’t mandatory. We may also hold other, related, certifications as mentioned above with personal training. But we are held to strict standards when it comes to clients and scope. A health coach helps the client to co-create solutions related to their health goals, while a therapist may be more concerned with a client’s mental or social aspects. It isn’t likely for us to focus on your childhood and how/why that impacts your life today…unless it has led to eating habits that are not helping you achieve your goals. If a client has a diagnosed eating disorder or mental health condition, that would be referred to a therapist for treatment. Then, in collaboration with that professional, a health coach can support the client’s health goals. There can be a fine line, but usually there is a very thick line in what delineates a health coach client vs a therapist client. And a good coach knows the difference and out of care for the client, respects it. 

So there you have it! Five reasons you would use a health coach and how they can help in each of those situations. If this was helpful to increase your understanding, let me know how or which myth was informative for you. If you read this and thought “wow, I think I need a health coach now!” Great, I’d love to help you achieve your health and wellness goals. Feel free to reach out so we can see if we are a good match. Send me an email at hello@shannonnsmith.com or feel free to set up a time to chat about your challenges and goals by clicking here. 

Their comment is based on their understanding of the world. Their experience, education and what they know to be true for themselves. They may be in a different age range, sex, athletic ability, nutrient need etc. Their comment is coming from that place. From what other people told them to be true. And from there they form their opinion, then operate from that to tell others. 

But in the split second after their comment and your response…something happens. There’s a question “am I wrong?” “is there any truth to what this person just said?” Is this relevant for me? If you don’t catch this fleeting moment, you have the seed planted for a potential new belief. An internal dialogue begins based on this comment and response. But what do you do about it? The next time this routine occurs you do your normal steps, but this time you pause and think about that comment. This time you make a small modification to your routine because somehow you’ve made yourself wrong for your previous actions. Now you’re in your head about what used to seem normal. There’s an element of shame, doubt, insecurity and possibly even fear surrounding what used to be an effortless and normal activity. No one told you to feel these things, they just sorta popped up.

The ego is now involved and wants to protect you. It may say “just do this because it’s safer/better/more complaint.” It may justify the changed action because that feels like the right thing to do. But there’s a part of you that is now in the background possibly being disregarded because of this comment. This internalized comment from a person who has no clue or insight into your reasoning to have this routine. 

For most of my childhood a few specific people commented on my food habits. I had things I liked but couldn’t have them often so when I had the opportunity to consume them, I did and I did it with joy. You know the dopamine hit you experience with a favorite food? That’s what I’m talking about! The comfort and eventual nostalgia that occurs as a result of those moments.

“You’re eating more?!”

“You’re still eating?!”

“We know what she/he is going to have!”

So when someone comments on the fact that you’re doing something that feels good to you and they express judgment or even displeasure, what do you do? As a child? As an adult? What do you do when someone questions from their perspective of truth disregarding your truth? Who seemingly interjects an innocent question about your action. 

As a child you start to question your likes and dislikes. You get to the point where you look at your body a different way because someone else got in your head. It could be a friend, family member, doctor or someone else. Everything was fine until this person came along with this stupid comment. We develop unhealthy relationships with ourselves and others because the layers of questions, doubts, fears that begin to form from interactions like this. And here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be a direct one to one interaction, it could be overhearing a comment or a conversation which then triggers something in you. But that seed has been planted. Over the years more seeds get planted and you lose track of where it started and who you are underneath. I know this is what I did, what about you?

In some circles you’ll hear this called a projection. When someone drops their perspective on you in a judgmental way (whether they mean it in a harmful way or not) to convince you of a right or wrong way to do or think about something. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a comment, question or observation; the projection can come in any form but it serves the same purpose. Are you going to eat ALL of that?! You can only do it this way! You’re going to do that by yourself?! You should’ve done it a different way. All of these are projections someone can throw your way. There’s a judgmental tone in them to convince you of your wrongness (and potentially their rightness).

Although this recent comment came to me as an adult from another adult, I had the same feeling as I did as a child who loved her favorite foods, only less of a sting. I knew the energy behind the comment because I’d felt it many times before. It had the essence of concern, curiosity, judgment and slight humor. It wasn’t meant to change my behavior, but note that the person saw what I was doing and didn’t approve. But the difference this time was knowing the person’s words had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with them. I knew there was something in me that reacted ever so slightly, but now I have tools to feel and see it.

I’m grateful for that.

I can forgive the person and all of the people who have made comments and judgments over the years. Most importantly, I can forgive myself for not knowing any better than to absorb these projections. And show some love to the little version of me who had to endure because she didn’t know it was possible to do anything else.

There are a variety of reasons for doing the things we do, but are we aware of where our beliefs and patterns come from? And if we are aware, do we feel good about them? Do they align with our values and personal truth? What are we willing to do to develop new ones that match who we really are? Once we start asking these questions, we are ready to snap out of the program. We are ready to evaluate a belief and then change our attitude and behavior around it. This is the process. This is the journey. And we are all on our own at varying points of exploration to be the best versions of ourselves. To be free from the influence comments, observations, projections, programs and so many other things that don’t serve us. 

Reflecting on our beliefs and their origin can be tricky. Sometimes there are layers and blindspots or questions we don’t know to ask as we unwind these things. If you’d like some help unwinding and rewiring some of your beliefs I’d love to help! Send me a message at hello@shannonnsmith.com or schedule time for a chat to get started. 

So what does this mean? If you’ve ever used water to wash away or cleanse something, you’ve worked with the elements. If you’ve ever burned something to get rid of it, you’ve used the element of fire to release and make space. If you’ve ever walked barefoot on the earth to ground and find balance, you’ve worked with the elements. This is what I’m talking about. Using the elements to assist for your healing, expansion and alignment. 

When you think about fire and things burning often there is a negative connotation to it. We’ve recently had massive destruction in the US because of fire. The visuals and impact are sad. There is destruction that is undeniable, changing the lives of many. It’s hard to see anything positive about it. But when you think about what happens after something is burned, really think about it, there’s a chance to see light.

It is cleansed. There is a freshness and even possibility now available because there is a clean slate in a sense. It also may not seem like anything is left, but there is a gift in that. When there is nothing, a clean slate, everything is possible. You get to create exactly what you want.

We are reminded of a cycle of life that consists of birth, destruction, death, and re-birth.

In South Africa you will see maintenance fires when driving around large, open areas. It is to burn the old land and create space for new growth once the rains come. It is to contain and ensure the lands don’t become overgrown and become something they aren’t meant to be. The soil is more fertile and the aftermath can result in more beauty because the environment now supports it. Beautiful crops, foliage, and lift can now exist because of the fire.

There is something primitive about fire. It connects us to the earth in a way like many things can’t. It is the reason for the phoenix rising from the ashes. The phoenix isn’t as symbolic without fire. It is needed. There are no ashes to rise from without fire. We need the so called fire to show us (and even remind us) who we are. The battles, battle scars, and the hard times are required for us to truly see ourselves after burning away that which does not serve or belong. 

And as someone who’s been through some figurative fires, it is not fun to experience, but when the ashes are dusted off, there is clarity and growth. What if we flipped the narrative and worked with fire to help us? In these times, it’s beneficial to call on all of our resources for healing, empowerment, advancement, and alignment. 

For this purpose I want to share something simple you can do to work with the element of fire. Many do this when working with moon cycles because the claim is that the energy is more potent and supportive at certain times. Me, I like to do it when I feel called to. It can be when I’m feeling particularly stuck and need clarity or if I’m feeling weighed down or clouded by the things going on in life. 

I’ve been able to use fire to affect change in my own life to help me shift into more alignment and energetically remove things that aren’t meant for me. It’s helped me see opportunities and people in new ways, helping me meet myself in a new way too. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s going to force me to look at things and shift. It can be disruptive. So if you work with fire, be ready to dig in your trenches, expose your layers, and step up in new ways.

So here are the basic steps I use when working with fire to clear out energy and make space. You can add your own flavor to this if you’d like as well. 

1. Write it down. Write down what is not working in your life or what needs to change. It can be a belief, a situation, a relationship or emotion you’re experiencing repeatedly. The goal with this step is to be as clear and thorough as possible, writing down all aspects of the topic(s) in question. This can be on sticky notes or regular paper. I like notes if I can because I separate my thoughts into topics and it keeps me organized, but you can find what works for you. The goal is to get everything on paper without holding back. What is wrong, working, not working? What would you like to happen? How is it making you feel? How would you like to feel? What are you releasing? This is not a gripe session either, it is a declaration that you are ready for something new.
2. Feel what you need to. As you write the details of your topic(s) you may feel more emotions. Let them flow! The reason you are doing this is because there is a charge or trigger somewhere and you are ready to release it. The first step to that is acknowledging it and the second is to feel it. Feel the emotions and acknowledge them. Now is not the time to keep them inside. The more you are able to feel, the more you release, and the more you gain clarity after.
3. Let it burn. Burn your entries. Please do this in the safest manner possible. Once you feel complete with your topics, knowing you’ve written all of the details and felt what you need to feel, it’s time to burn. If you have a fireplace or outdoor fire pit this is great. If you don’t you can get creative, but please be safe and legal. Pay attention to how the fire burns. Do you feel anything when it does? Do the flames look a certain way? Are any other emotions coming up as you burn? Be aware of these things.
4. Buckle up. Trust and be open to the unfolding. When working with the elements, particularly fire, you never know how you’ll experience shifts. Just as in energy healing, you identify the issue, uncover what’s underneath, perform the clearing, and trust you are well. When things need to bubble up to the surface to be dealt with, they will. If you need to make a shift as a result of your release, it will be clear. If your topic involves someone else, they may shift as well. So be open to how things unfold after you’ve done your ceremony and trust you are well. And always…offer gratitude for everything working out for your good. 

If you’ve worked with fire before, I’d love to hear how you do it. I’d also love to know how this process (or any additions you make) work for you, so please let me know. If you’d like assistance making space in your life, let’s chat about how we can work together to make that happen for you. 

Questions and Journal Prompts

• What is working? What is not working?
• What are some of my accomplishments this year?
• What didn’t quite work the way I thought?
• How have I responded to these changes?
• How have I felt doing the things that worked?
• What can I keep doing?
• What needs to be released to help me in my evolution?
• What changes can I make to support myself and my goals?
• What are some things I’d like to accomplish in the next year? Why?

I hope you've found this helpful. I know these times are difficult, but we are here during this time for a reason. If you need support navigating these winds of change, please feel free to reach out and we can discuss the best way to get you to where you want to go. All the best to you in this journey and to the new year!

I had an amazing opportunity to visit any place I wanted for what I originally thought was the price of a ticket, but after further research it was more than that. After getting more information, and making grand plans for world travel, I quickly discovered fine print which significantly tapered my plans. And there were little inconveniences that appeared out of nowhere. Once things settled, a hotel reservation was booked and it was time to look for flights. But there was a feeling, a small soft whisper of a feeling that presented. I didn’t know what it was so I proceeded with plans. Some things fell into place very easily, but others simply didn’t. There were parts that were unnecessarily difficult which I dismissed.

I navigated making plans, I was really excited, a little nervous, but excited. Arrangements were made, packing ensued, and adventure awaited. There was a part of me that knew I was answering a call, but another part knew things would be different than my itinerary dictated…and I was ok with that because I knew I was supported. Upon my departure I asked my dad for assistance with transport to/from on of the hotels, which he agreed to. I was on my way!

Approximately a week after leaving, I received a message from my dad saying “the hotel phone number doesn’t work, the company has no record of your hotel reservation, they’re saying you have no reservation, and it’s not showing on the website.” You can imagine my reaction. I was in Zimbabwe with no access to stable wi-fi, couldn’t call the company myself, and had a confirmation number. And they charged my credit card! He said he would call them back and let me know if he could get clarity. I panicked because I was a few weeks away from having to get on the plane to this other destination, that I thought I was meant to visit. It felt so…divine.

I even did my astrocartography to pull the significance of the location! I really felt this was meant to be. I tried not to panic but didn’t do well, until I realized there wasn’t anything I could do. So I decided I would wait until I had more information and then act. It wasn’t worth my stress and I still had adventures to experience in Zim. After another message from my dad saying “still no reservation” it was time to really feel into my best next step.

I didn’t think about it until I arrived back here to South Africa where I could plug away on the internet and determine options. Nothing felt clear it all felt like a jumbled mess. It took 4 days for inspiration on the right take action on my flights. I contemplated going to the place but paying for a hotel on my own, flying there but for a shorter duration, not going at all. I was all over the place over those few days. But when inspiration struck I listened. I was able to cancel my flight and get most of my money back in a single phone call. The whole process took about 30 mins and was much easier than I expected. Now, I have space to think about next steps because I have time that I wasn’t expecting.

What do you do when your plans implode? Maybe not to this degree, but when things don’t quite go as planned. This is a BIG implode, but really it’s showing alignment. It’s showing how everything that was planned wasn’t meant to be. It’s showing there is more alignment elsewhere, and it’s time to feel into that so it can be my guide. It’s showing how to be flexible and surrender to whatever and whomever is seeking to support me. And even be supported by me. It’s showing how our higher selves direct us. So if you're questioning whether your current activities are in alignment with what you're meant to do, pay attention to the little feelings, the whispers from your intuition, and your physical sensations to be your guide...they will never steer you wrong. 

If you'd like support developing your intuition or finding your alignment, I'm here to help! Shoot me an email at hello@shannonnsmith.com to connect. 

1. I get to meet people and learn about them - I’m trained in QHHT and in this technique you have an interview with the client. It is where you talk with them and learn about their life. This can take upwards of 2 hours, but it really gets a person to open up and reflect on their life. It often is the first time a client has said something out loud and it feels good to get it out. Other times we can have lots of fun when someone recounts entertaining stories from their past. You never really know what someone has been through until you talk to them, so this is likely one of the few opportunities someone has to sit and just talk about themselves in a judgement free zone. It is beneficial for both parties because the person has a safe space to share and I get to be with them in a way that others don’t get to, even bridging connections for healing before they go under.

2. Increased compassion and empathy for others - There is a saying that goes something like “we’re more similar than we are different’ and I fully believe this after doing these sessions. Many of us carry so many burdens and even trauma that isn’t ours. We carry pain and shattered dreams that are hidden because we’ve suppressed them for years or decades. All of this comes up in the first part of a session and it allows the client to see themself. It also allows them to have a safe space to be witnessed. Being in that position, the facilitator and one who holds space for this unfolding, I am honored each time. This gives me the ability to have more compassion and empathy for people. Knowing what someone may be carrying around under their smile or credentials lets me see that I am in no position to judge someone’s behavior because I don’t know what’s underneath it. It also shows how we carry really painful experiences around without a healthy outlet and this can lead to negative consequences if we don’t get help.

3. Helping others get answers - In QHHT, the client comes to the session with a list of questions they’d like answered. No topic is off limits, so the client gets to ask about anything important to them. Before they go under we discuss the questions and then after they visit their lifetime, we connect directly to their higher self, who answers the questions. They go straight to the source with no middle man to muddy the message. This is the part I love because it’s like talking to your best friend who really cares for you and keeps it straight no chaser. There is no BS when talking to the higher self. They always tell it like it is and will call you out if needed, but it is for your good. When asking the client’s questions, the higher self also answers questions that aren’t on the list but may be important to the person. And they always share why the client visited the lifetime they did. There is always a purpose and lesson relevant to where they are now. It’s quite remarkable. 

4. Learn more about self and have a stronger self-connection - When visiting the other lifetime in a session you get to experience something that will bring you clarity about your current life, but it will help you get to know yourself better. Many things that contribute to your personality, desires, relationships, strengths, and career will become more clear because of this life. You get to access a part of you that is usually blocked by your conscious brain, but in the trance state your subconscious leads the way for clarity, healing and understanding. What I also find amusing is when the person’s higher self gives me guidance (or calls me out lol depends on how I receive it) based on what they’re telling the client. If I am dealing with a similar issue, I may receive guidance if the person’s higher self deems it necessary. I appreciate those moments because it reiterates how connected we all are.

5. The power of a question - You don’t know unless you ask. This is the thing I most understand after experiencing these sessions. Sometimes clients say they have curiosities but are afraid to know the answers. Other times I’ll work with people who asks some of the most profound questions and in return gets some of the most insightful answers. Not to mention the powerful, life changing healing they receive. I’ve learned that it is as simple as this: you must believe something is possible and have the audacity to ask for it. That’s it! But when we are in environments that discourage curiosity or even clarity, this can be difficult. We only allow ourselves to ask questions to get unstuck, but not to catapult to our next level. The healing for that is possible by the way.

In this reflection, I have come to really understand what we have access to when in a regression session. We see how much is possible when we open up to the expanded parts of us and learn more about ourselves. From this place, I’ve been able to connect to myself and others in new and deeper ways which helps to appreciate this experience we call life. And I continue to be in awe of what my clients and I have been able to create because we had the audacity to ask a question. If you are interested in learning more about hypnosis regression you can visit my site here

But I had to think about letting go of the old since I’ll be buying new socks out of necessity now. There’s been a lot of that these last few months. Old patterns, beliefs, emotions, situations and relationships showing us where they no longer fit. They have a hole in them. They are becoming (or have been) uncomfortable and we have a choice to make. You may have been feeling this with the crazy astrological shenanigans that have been occurring the last few months. Is it all a coincidence? Depends on who you ask. But between the cosmos, the atmosphere, and our soul evolution…there is change in the air and we get to choose how we respond. 

With my socks it’s pretty easy: throw them away or continue to wear them depending on where the hole is. Let it linger a little longer, right? With a situation that hasn’t felt good for awhile, but really is feeling BAD at this point, what do you do? You can take a step back and see how the situation is impacting your life, potentially blocking the experience you really want to have. Or you can sit in the bad feeling because that is what you know. It isn’t always as easy as socks. I’ll share a personal example with you. For years, I’ve had a desire to do a project but didn’t know how it would happen or when. Out of the blue, I received an email from someone who does this exact thing and invited me for a call to learn more about an opportunity. I looked at the email and thought “oh wow, this would be amazing!” Then all of the reasons why I couldn’t do it flooded into my head. Once those thoughts came in I shut the idea down. For months I sat with that email and those nasty thoughts. Some days dreaming of the opportunity and giving myself permission to feel the expansiveness of it and others letting the thoughts run the show. It was pretty exhausting and unproductive.

What was in the way? Well, it was fear. Fear of the unknown and judgment of others built up a wall of resistance. But, it was really a belief I was holding about myself called ‘I’m not good enough’. Do you know that one? I didn’t realize it until talking to a friend and she gave an example from her own life which made something click in my head. It keeps us from doing things that take us out of our comfort zone. It is our ego keeping us ‘safe.’ The belief of ‘I’m not good enough’ can show up in our lives in many different ways. In this specific instance it was imposter syndrome. The thoughts that flooded my head centered around ‘how could I think I’d be able to pull something like this off?’ ‘Who was I to think I could do it?’ ‘So many others are more qualified and have more experience than I do’  ‘Maybe I should forget for now and come back to it at a better time.’

All of these thoughts were completely opposite of how amazing the actual opportunity felt. So why entertain them or give them any air time?!??! I asked myself the same thing several times. It still came down to fear and this pesky belief. In some respects, it felt more comfortable to stay where I knew what was going to happen. It was easier to not step up and play small. But the more I told myself this story, the more I realized I didn’t really believe it because it wasn’t my story. The so called hole got bigger and began to feel more uncomfortable. I had a choice to make. After some reflection and soul searching, I found my true belief about the project and it very much aligned with the expansive, fun, light feeling I had felt the entire time. I was ready to claim my capability and readiness for the project despite all of those pesky thoughts. I also realized there were more pieces coming to me now that I was ready to say yes. I didn’t feel 100% ready in the moment, but I knew I would be when the time came. I took a deep breath and said yes to the project.

How does it relate to socks, again?

Those pesky thoughts had to get loud enough and ridiculous enough for me to make a change. And just as my sock holes had to be large and in the most annoying spot, so did my resistance to this opportunity. I had to say ‘enough is enough! This isn’t helpful, there’s nothing to be afraid of, and if this is something you want to do…JUST DO IT!’ I had to BE the change I wanted to see (remember that from last time?). So I finally said yes to the opportunity and you’ll be hearing about it soon.

What does this mean for you? If you’ve been feeling uncomfortable or stuck lately, you are not alone. You may be walking around with the equivalent of hole-y socks and you get to choose to do something about it: continue holding resistance to the change while continuing to struggle or realize you get to write your story, so you can let go and make change happen if you desire it. But whatever you choose, it’s always helpful to understand what the resistance is related to and why it exists. It serves a purpose and once we understand that purpose we can gain clarity but also movement beyond it. So what do you say? Oh, and I finally did get the new socks, so no more holes…yay!

If you are tired of living with hole-y socks, feeling the resistance of all that you dream to create, I’d love to help you gain clarity and move through to the other side of it however that looks for you. You can click here to schedule a 1:1 energy clearing/coaching session or here for a chat about your goals if you’d like more in depth support.

We both visited a time that was highly relevant for our current experience and the questions we had. And both of us received specific guidance from our higher selves to alleviate our curiosity and so much more. I have to say, though, I was pleasantly surprised with my session because my higher self was quite chatty. Two years ago when my friend and I did QHHT sessions I wasn’t as prepared for what to expect. All sensations are heightened in the trance state, which can be overwhelming if you aren’t ready for it. This time I was ready!

Here are six of the highlights from these sessions that I found most intriguing, yet helpful...

1. Our subconscious/higher self is always sending us information. When we have little thoughts or intuitive hits, this is our guidance system talking. It can be frustrating trying to put together this information because it often doesn’t make sense to our analytical brains. However, in these sessions I saw how we both have been getting little clues and wondering what to do with them. It’s like being handed an IKEA box full of pieces with no instructions. You know you’re supposed to make something, but you’re not sure how big it’s supposed to be, and you’re definitely not sure of how to put the pieces together. But you do have the little wrench thing because that’s always included.

2. There is a reason for your feelings toward certain people and places. In my session I asked about a few specific people and places of interest to me. I was able to see how these things are important to me and how they relate. I was pleasantly surprised that a specific location is one I was only recently called to, but found out it has lots of goodness in store for me because of the long time connection I have to it. It was reassuring to know that these seemingly random interests are in fact quite intentioned and beneficial. If you are being drawn to certain people of places, don’t deny this. If you are able to, spend time in these places and with these people if it feels good. Your soul is likely guiding you to a happy place.

3. Our nature and personality are not a mistake. Both of us visited a place where we were fully in our strengths and personality, which caused us to be different from others. Much like our current reality, we had to see the gift of this and the value of these differences. We also got to see the fun experiences we got to have as a result. If you are questioning who you are and why, there is a reason for it all, you simply may not understand why in the greater scheme. That is okay, learning to love and understand yourself for yourself is your best bet.

4. If you can’t see all of the angles of a problem on your own, it’s okay. Both my friend and I had a couple of similar themes, for which we received clarity. However, despite all of our training we couldn’t see all of the pieces of a particular issue on our own and in our awake state. It took going into trance and asking questions from both of us to get to the deeper layers we needed for understanding. This was quite relieving too. Neither of us had the information on our own, but together in another state, we got further than we could on our own. If there is something you’ve been experiencing and can’t figure it out, don’t stress over it. If you can ask a friend to help you it may help. And if you can, you may want to get in touch with your subconscious to get to the bottom of it.

5. Our pain is not what we think. This is something I knew, but hearing from my subconscious in this session made it clear of how this has worked for me and my friend. We hold information for ourselves and others, which can manifest in a number of ways. Sometimes our bodies store it the easiest way it knows how because it doesn’t know to let it go. It also doesn’t know to differentiate between us and someone else. If you are experiencing pain in your body, you may want to talk to it. You know I am a strong believer in the connection with our bodies and when we have a relationship with them, we are better off. This is a great way to start, but don’t force your way to an answer based on what you want the answer to be. 

6. Be-ing is most important. This is a lesson that has been surfacing in several different ways recently, so it was no surprise that the topic came up in my session. When we want something in our life to change, we need to understand the differences between where we are now and the version of us that has already experienced the change. Sometimes it is a small difference and other times it feels massive, but the difference is the gap we must bridge to become. To become, we must be. It consists of doing the things and thinking the thoughts of that version of us. And because we haven’t experienced the change yet, it will feel weird, but bit by bit we become the new version in our being. So if you are struggling to make a change in your life, this is a great reminder to get in touch with the thoughts and actions of that post-change version of you, then see if you’re doing those things now.

How about all of that?! There was so much information that came up for both of us in these two sessions. I know it will all sink in when it is supposed to, but so far it’s been pretty good. I hope my brief description of these takeaways is helpful for you and your journey. Which one do you find most helpful? If you’d like to do more exploring for yourself, let me know, I’d love to help you. And if you’re interested in learning more about QHHT, you can go here.

This is something many of us have tried at some point in our lives. We’ve stated that we want to make a big change and then set out to do it. It worked every time, right? No? Why do we start on the change journey, make the investments, and then the journey comes to a screeching halt? Many things factor into why we don’t.

I first shared this list with a group who was finishing a health challenge so they could continue making progress after the group dismantled. Since then, I’ve modified some of the tips for a broader audience so we all can benefit from the lasting changes we’re looking for. Here are ten tips you can consider as you make goals and embark on your change journey. 

1. Remember your why. Remember how you feel when you think about it and what you ultimately are aiming to achieve
2. Stay accountable. When starting on a transformation journey it can be hard to do it alone, this is why working with a coach can be so helpful. In addition to a coach, some other things that can be helpful are a buddy, a clear goal, and lists of actions 
3. Don’t do it all. Often when we start on a transformation journey, we want to do everything all at once. Change all the food, do all of the exercises, change all of the habits. It isn’t realistic to think we can do this all at once, so it’s a good idea to find small changes that lead to bigger ones. Finding ways to swap activities or products can go a long way
4. Support system. Having a family or community to lean on is helpful when making any type of change, big or small. This can be an accountability buddy or someone who is simply supportive and rooting for your success. 
5. Setting a SMART goal. We often say we want to change, but without a clear goal it can be hard. A clear goal helps you know where you're headed. A SMART goal can help you develop a plan with clear steps to actually achieve your goal.
6. Use your tools. We don’t always think we have tools when we start a change journey, but we do. Things like critical thinking, journaling, problem solving, or even our own intuition are beneficial throughout the process. You’ll learn plenty of tools along the way, and you’ll have opportunities to use them, but don’t assume you’re coming in empty handed.
7. Be kind to yourself. One thing that I’ve learned along my journey is the importance of grace and compassion for self. We think that since we need to change that something is wrong with us and because of that we can be extremely hard on ourselves. The weight isn’t coming off fast enough, you slipped up and didn’t use the tool, someone triggered you and you reacted in the old way. These are all things that happen and we can’t beat ourselves up. It’s not a matter of when things come up on the journey, it’s about when, and how we bounce back.
8. Enjoy the process. This goes along with being kind to yourself, but when we make major change...things change! Big surprise, right? So we need to be flexible and enjoy the journey. There really isn’t a prescribed way to move through an individual’s change journey because it’s different based on the person, the type of change, where you are in life, and so many other factors. I know it sounds cliche, but it really is about the journey and not the destination. We can let this process be so rewarding by learning about ourselves and others in our lives if we allow it. 
9. Make it fun. I know a lot of people want to be serious because we’re talking about potentially major life changes, but this process can and should be fun. As adults we take ourselves so seriously and forget that we are meant to play and be creative. We’re meant to have fun in life, especially when we’re making changes. Being willing to laugh and play when making change can make the process easier, and take the stress off of perfection to pursue the goal. You also open yourself up to more possibilities because you aren’t limiting yourself and trying to control outcomes.
10. Set yourself up for success. You have the ultimate say in how this goes and your ability to create a supportive environment in the process is key. Create your comfortable space, get a journal to document your breakthroughs, create lists to stay on task, establish boundaries, get a calendar for milestones and put it where you can see it, prepare food or things in advance where possible, ask for what you need. All of these things are examples of ways to really take a stand for yourself while on your change journey.

If you or someone you know is struggling to get started on their change journey or in the middle of a change and looking for help to get to the end, I’d love to help with that. Shoot me an email at hello@shannonnsmith.com or schedule a time for us to chat so we can uncover your best your next steps to get the change you deserve.

1. Make lists and/or have a system - I am a fan of lists and organization. You may find it helpful to come up with a system to stay organized with events, shopping, gifts and other items this season. Whether it is a family calendar in the kitchen, color coordinated sticky notes, or an app on your phone, finding a way to document your tasks to stay on top of them will help not only their presence on your list but your ability to get them off the list.
2. Ask for help - It can be difficult asking for help at any time, but this time of year when there are more gatherings of family and friends, it can be overwhelming especially when hosting. If you are participating in lots of events, it is okay to ask for help preparing. Whether it is choosing to have a potluck event or asking for assistance in planning, remember you don’t have to do all tasks by yourself.
3. Be intentional and prioritize tasks - Similar to asking for help, it is also important to be intentional with your time to prioritize the activities that are most important for you to do. Once you make your list, see what you need to do yourself and what someone else can do. Just because it appears on your list doesn’t mean you need to do it, it just needs to be done. You can also apply deadlines to your tasks based on when the event is held or when the shopping needs to be completed. The goal is to maximize your time each day without being overwhelmed or depleted.
4. Be present & honor your energy - When you are feeling depleted or even frazzled, listen to your body. If you are feeling stressed or anxious, it’s okay to stop what you’re doing and pause for a few minutes or hours. If there are emotions coming up for you, then give yourself permission to identify and process them so they can pass. Giving yourself the time to be honest about where you are and what you’re feeling will lead to more productive days and more balanced reactions to stressors when they arise.
5. Create time for yourself - Find a few minutes for yourself each day. Even if it is 5 mins to sit and breathe in silence, you will reap benefits. When you are able to do this, you give your body the opportunity to calm and reset. And by quieting any noise that is around you, you increase your connection to your body and intuition so you can remain focused…and again, calm. You are able to manage your energy more efficiently and be able to show up for those around you.
6. Establish and hold boundaries - There often is pressure to attend lots of parties or events this time of year and sometimes we simply don’t feel up to it. Or we feel obligated to attend something because of the audience, but it doesn’t feel good to say yes to the invitation. If you don’t feel good about going, it’s okay to say no. Be honest with yourself when it comes to the activities that feel good and only attend those if you can. If not, give yourself a time limit at events you can’t get out of so you honor the obligation and your needs too.
7. Food, sleep & water - Getting proper hydration and nutrients is always important, but during the holidays with more calories and sugar consumed it is more important to pay attention to getting the nutrients our bodies need to support us. Since there is more to do, you will need your rest to stay present and active during the day. Making sure you get enough sleep each night (7-9hrs), will provide all of your body’s systems time to rest and recover at night so you can wake up refreshed and ready to tackle your tasks. This will also help building your immune system so you don't feel run down.

I hope these tips are helpful as you navigate the tasks and events of the holiday season. You don’t have to use all of them either. Pick 1-3 that feel most applicable, and realistic for you to introduce into your routine easily. This time of year doesn’t have to be completely crazy if you get a few key pieces in place and work around those. Good luck and happy holidays! Need any help managing stress this holiday? Feel free to setup a time for us to chat about how to get more ease.

So, I started thinking about some of the common themes I see in some of my clients over the years. We are taught to believe that change is hard, but with that brings some other falsehoods about the change process. If we really want to change something, I believe we should be relentless in the pursuit of our change. Being willing to do what it takes to achieve it and be flexible about the process it takes to get to the end. There may be some discomfort for you and those around you, but that may be necessary. What is the gain that comes from that experience? Here are 5 reasons I’ve seen that prevent people from getting the change they really want. 

The goal isn't clear. If you don’t know where you’re going, how do you know when you’ve arrived? Think about what would happen if you logged into your GPS and just clicked go in a general direction. You may get to a new place, but where? Would it benefit or harm you? This is kind of what it’s like when we set out to achieve a goal, but haven’t defined what the goal actually is. With a clear goal, you know exactly what it is and how it will look when it’s accomplished. Losing 10lbs, shaving 30 seconds off your course time, completing all assignments for a class with a passing grade are all clear goals. Taking it a step further, you can indicate how you will achieve that goal - this is commonly described as a SMART goal. In this you further define what you are going to do to achieve the goal. With this framework, you have a clear goal and are able to articulate specifically what it will take to make the goal a reality. It’s clear where you start and where you end. And then you can celebrate!

The "why" isn't clear. When we are unclear as to why we’re doing something, it can make the journey to achieve that thing difficult. Clarity of intent is key with anything in life. You hear about people living with intention or being deliberate in their actions living more full, rewarding lives. Why is this? Well, they know where they are headed and why. Being clear with your why makes the tough times easier, and serves as a source of strength and motivation. When starting the change process, many don’t have a clear indication why they’re making the change, so the incentive for staying the course isn’t strong. When there isn’t any incentive, what’s the point? Whether it’s your children, feeling more comfortable in your clothes (and skin), so others don’t have a hard journey or increased vitality for life...these are all solid whys behind change.

They aren't REALLY ready. One of the foundational principles of behavior change is meeting a client where they are. This is difficult when you can see where a client is, but they are unwilling to recognize it. To maximize success, an honest look at your starting point and history is required. Once this is clear, your goal and steps to meet the goal can be discussed for a plan based on your readiness for change. And when this is clear you can take action on the baby steps to prove to yourself you can do it. When you have proof of completion, you’re more equipped to take on bigger goals with more confidence long-term. For some, this can be hard to accept because we want what we want...now. We live in a culture of instant gratification, so the pace of change can be different than what we expect. Pacing ourselves and being realistic with where we’re starting as compared to our goals helps us set expectations appropriately and maximizes the likelihood of success and sustained change in the end. 

Underestimating the effort. We often set out to achieve a goal without full understanding of what it’s going to take to actually do it. That’s fine, but this sets us up for disappointment because we don’t begin with stable footing and then end up not following through. I see this a lot with New Year’s resolutions because we can say we want to lose 50lbs or train for a marathon or finally get my life in order, but what does that really mean? What is the plan to get you to that goal? I used to see this with organizations who wanted large-scale transformation. The timeline, cost, and people to make the change happen was always underestimated. What I helped leaders do is get clear on their why, their goal, assess their readiness for change, build and ultimately execute their plan to improve odds of success. Whether it’s an organization of thousands or an individual improving their health, the same steps and principles apply. We have to be ready to dedicate the time and effort to meet our goal, and be flexible when we’ve underestimated what it will take to get to done.

Beliefs and expectations get in the way. Before working with a client, a coach often will ask if the person is “coachable.” This means they are willing to try new things, shift their mindset/behavior patterns, and get uncomfortable. Are they willing to enjoy the transformation and healing process without judgement of themselves or the process? Are they willing to be flexible and pivot when their body or life requires won’t do what they want? When we have beliefs about the benefits of a specific action, instead of doing it and being open for the ride, we slow the change process. This also applies to expectations. We set out for change because we don’t like what we have, right? So to get something different, we need to do something different. It really is that simple. Being willing to drop our current story and move past our limitations is where the magic is. We limit ourselves when...we have preconceived notions about how the journey should look/feel, we restrict the actions we’re willing to take to achieve our goal, we are unwilling to have an open mind about the journey because we’re fixated on the goal.

If you found these reasons helpful, let me know at hello@shannonnsmith.com.  I’d love to hear your experience with any of these five reasons and if you have others you’d add to the list. If you are working through your own change, whether at the beginning or in the middle, and would like some help getting to the end, I’d love to help work through that process with you. Click here to schedule a Discovery call and to uncover your next best steps.

1. Eating Enough Food - Don’t forget to eat! One thing that I neglected to do was bring enough food for myself to eat throughout the day. Usually on event days I don’t eat a lot, but I have snacks for myself just in case. It’s really easy to run on adrenaline and pure energy, but the human really does need food. At the end of the day I felt how empty my body really was. So for you, when you have lots of shopping to do, events to attend, cooking to complete, make sure you are remembering to feed yourself so you have the strength and energy to help those around you.

2. Drinking Enough Water - Did you know our bodies are 70-80% water? So it would make sense that drinking water throughout the day (on any day, but specifically busy days) would be important, right? I know this, many of us know this. But for some reason we don’t do it. At shows, it’s difficult to drink as much water as I’d like because I need to tend to my table/space. When clients sign up for sessions it can be difficult to put time in the schedule for water and potty breaks. Not to mention that during the winter months the air is more dry, so we actually need more water. I tell my clients after their sessions that water will be their friend, so drink up! Again, I was not following my own advice and felt it. But, water is simply important for normal body function. When weather is extreme or when activities change drastically, more is needed for our bodies to be happy with us. If you’re running around in true holiday fashion, think about keeping a water bottle with you to stay hydrated.

3. Getting Enough Sleep - Sometimes it can be hard to sleep when you have a lot on your mind. With my events, I’ve had lots of late brain activity because I’m wondering if I packed everything in the car, or did I print everything for the event, or do I have enough products, or any number of things. I want everything to be as perfect as possible, so the mind goes crazy or I stay up late. Well, that doesn’t help sleep. When we have lots going on, we tend to forego sleep in order to tackle the to-do list. Speaking from years of doing this, and paying for it, it’s not a good idea! It doesn’t help you or anyone around you. Sleep deprivation and its effects are real and we often disregard how important this is. So for you, having a bedtime and keeping it is your goal. Knowing when to start winding down in the evening to give you enough time to make this bedtime is key.

4. Centering & Quieting Your Mind - In the morning I like to meditate for a few minutes. Sometimes if the day is a little crazy I find a few minutes to get quiet and breathe. To center myself and connect to my body. If I don’t do this, I’m usually fine, but there are days where I really need it and haven’t done it. I push despite my body’s signals to pause. When you have really busy days, try to remember to find at least 5 minutes to yourself so you can breathe and have quiet time. Although it doesn’t seem like a lot, it can make a difference in your ability to be present and make sound decisions for yourself or that may impact others. This is similar to sleep.

5. Discernment & Boundaries - I’ve gotten much better at this, but still have my lapses. Are you willing to say yes/no to things and honor your energy? Between shopping, holiday parties, family obligations, and whatever else is going on there comes a time where we have to draw a line. To remember to check in with what our body wants, not what we want to do or what we’re forcing it to do. Whether this is eating, resting, attending an event, having a conversation or anything else, discernment is vital. For the last couple of weeks I wasn’t practicing this and paid for it - day of events and days after. I’m not making myself wrong for it, just acknowledging and course correcting where needed. If you are finding yourself more occupied than normal, ask if these things are really what you want or if they’re additive to your day/energy or whether they’re depleting. Also, you can ask who you’re doing the activity for - yourself or others out of obligations. This can help shorten or prioritize your to-do list. 

6. Getting Movement - Getting our blood pumping and body moving are important when we have a lot going on. I’ve found that when I move my body (for as little as 15 min) I feel like I can connect to my body and thoughts easier. I feel like I can process information better and like my body processes work more like they’re supposed to. Many of the same benefits as when I center myself. But, going for a walk or doing a short workout can do wonders for your mental and physical well-being during the holiday season. I hadn’t been doing this and felt the difference. Whether it’s stress, a mile-long to-do list, family, emotions, or something else, movement activates what we need to manage it better. 

7. Getting Fresh Air - Getting outside for a few minutes to get direct sunlight and breathe fresh air can serve as a natural pick me up. We all know there are benefits to this, but I know I don’t remember to do this until it’s usually late in the game. If it’s been a long day, sometimes I’ll walk outside even for 30 seconds to feel the cold air just for the exposure to it. My body gets the exposure it needs to the elements and then we’re ready to go. For you, if you’re running around town you’re already outside, but what if you stopped by the park quickly on the way home? Or if you’re at an event, stepping outside to recalibrate and then re-join the crowd. I’ve done this at events, but don’t always remember to, even though I feel better after.

8. Honoring Your Feelings - As I mentioned, I was depleted and felt it. I had a lot going on and wasn’t taking care of myself so my body responded. It got to a point where I had to listen and be honest with how I was feeling. I had to feel the feelings and process them without judgment. I had to change my behavior and honor my body. I had to rest and be okay with not doing as much (or anything at all). With to-do lists and obligations this can be hard, but I’ve learned the importance of being honest with what we’re capable of doing in a given moment and being okay with it. 

Now that I’m feeling better I’m even more passionate about helping you get the balance you need during this time of year or any other time for that matter. We all deserve the feelings of balance, calm, and alignment without the stress and judgment that is perceived to come with that. But sometimes we need help making decisions or prioritizing activities to make it happen. If any of this sounds like you, let me know! I’d love to help you get the balance you’re looking for. Send me an email at hello@shannonnsmith.com or feel free to set up a time to chat about your challenges and goals by clicking here.

This isn’t a topic I would’ve thought much about 5yrs ago, but today I come to you with an expanded understanding of the importance of beliefs and I want to share some of what I’ve learned with you. 

After a string of QHHT sessions last fall, I really started to think of this in a new way. I had examined this for myself, but this series of sessions was a spark for me. If you aren’t familiar with QHHT, here’s a little overview. My client wanted assistance with back pain in session. In her list of questions she wanted to know if the pain could be addressed and possibly removed. So when we got to that part of the session I asked what’s behind the pain and can we fix it. 

The response was she needed proof that it can be done. So, she had the question written down, somewhere she believed on some level that it was possible to not have pain, but when her higher self came in the response she needed proof. This told me there was a disconnect on some level of healing being possible. And it stresses the importance of working in layers of healing to have things complete. 

Now, when I work with people I work on multiple levels. You often hear mind-body-spirit connection, but there’s more to it. You have to work on subtle energy body layers and common layers because our identity, our beliefs come from so many different things. Our physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and consciousness connection all need to line up and when there is a kink in that chain we experience problems. Also adding in the elements of past lives and carrying things for others, and we can have a big ole heaping mess! So layers, they are important to understand and look at with this work. 

Let’s talk about that for a minute because I think that’s important. So when I think about the makeup of our identity and beliefs I think of layers of truth and then those layers influence our behaviors, beliefs, patterns, likes/dislikes…everything. They are instilled in us at a very early age and are registered by our subconscious as ways of being. Kind of like our operating system.

Levels of truth

When thinking about beliefs, it’s helpful to understand where ours come from and how they are formed. Let’s do this through the lens of truth and four levels for the sake of conversation.

• Individual - the things we believe to be true that we discover and believe for ourselves
• Family - the things instilled in us by our families (bed times, food choices (beef, onions/broccoli), beliefs about self, what’s acceptable vs not, being left handed)
• Community/society - your city, state, or country may have acceptable norms (eating certain delicacies, driving on a side of the street, dress codes, religious beliefs, languages)
• Planet - things we do as people/beings who live on this planet (go on green, stop on red, help means distress etc)

Those individual things get installed as programs that we have but, just as easily as they can be installed, they can be overwritten or deleted. But to do this we first need proof that something else is possible. 

We need proof. Our belief has to change due to questions and prompts to explore other things. I had to think about all of the years I’d lived before being told I’d have to take medication for the rest of my life. Listening to my client’s subconscious response, I saw myself in her and I too needed to see someone else do the thing to know it was possible. Understanding the power of influence and collecting an inventory of proof. We can change our circumstances by having examples of self and then where others have done it too.

This is actually what happened to me. Just like my client, I needed to see proof that healing was possible for me to entertain that as a possibility. You see, in 2012 I received a diagnosis of an autoimmune condition and was told that I’d have to take pills to sustain normal function for the rest of my life. I was told don’t change anything, just take the pills and I’d be fine. I could keep my life as it was otherwise. Now I had already changed several things in my life as a result of what my body was doing, so this was a bit of a relief but not long term!

In late 2016 I was introduced to energy work and in early 2017, my now Reiki Master told us how she healed something in herself and had helped others heal several things. Until then, I held a belief that people didn’t heal from things. I knew about miracles from a religious sense, but I’d never met anyone who once had a label, took medication, and now didn’t. This was proof I didn’t know I was looking for but I knew I needed. It was from this moment on, I gave myself permission to examine everything I had believed and stood for. And then permission to change the things that didn’t work with this new possibility I was aware of.

Some of the beliefs I had to unwind were… 

• People pleasing. Having to live for others or on their terms bc there’s no proof that anything could happen outside of that. 
• Having to take pills to sustain function indefinitely 
• Food has no influence over healing process
• Stress has no influence over the healing process
• I didn’t have control over whether I healed (and I was doomed) LOOKING IN THE MIRROR
• Doctors knew better than me regarding what my body wanted or needed
• Unseen factors have a strong impact on our healing and what we believe is possible
• My body was attacking itself
• External environment doesn’t have any influence on the internal
• Worthy of healing and having everything I wanted in life that I dreamed about

Where did it come from? 

Why was the influence so strong to become a way of life? In her session I had to dig and got the answer (the source of the belief wasn't even hers) but on the surface she didn’t believe she could live without the back pain. I want it but I’m not sure if it’s possible. And what if it is fixed and then it comes back? When we’ve been in a place for so long it’s hard to think of life in a different way. 

It’s hard not to think about a relapse or a what if scenario, but dipping one toe in belief and the other firmly planted in disbelief/doubt, we stay stuck. Our body registers this by the energy we emit. When these 2 opposing frequencies are present, there’s no clear direction so nothing happens/changes. We must align on all layers that healing is possible and then the body can take that as a signal that it’s time for change. It’s go time!

But why are you holding onto this belief? 

There’s a benefit to it on some level. We just operate on auto pilot. Not thinking of the origin of it, but what if we were willing to ask questions and uncover where it came from? Once this is done, we can make an informed decision on what we now choose to do or believe. From a place of curiosity and understanding, not judgment. If we’re living based on beliefs and projections of others, look into why that is. If this is something we know we agree with, then keep it. If not, give ourselves permission to release that belief and write another that fits with where we are. Their beliefs are formed based on who they were around and the filter of their experience. We have a choice whether it becomes ours.

How is this impacting our lives? Our healing? Dreams? Relationships? Are we limiting our bodies ability to heal by the beliefs we’re thinking? My hypothesis is yes! So how do we start to fix this?

5 ways to work on beliefs

1. List of proof - how you’ve seen this done before because it’s possible for you and others. Write down how things were/are before and after the situation.
2. Get around people who will challenge you. This one can be tricky because some have fixed mindsets and want to convince you of your wrongness and their rightness. I don’t mean it in this way. I mean get around people who will support your growth by asking you questions and causing you to examine why something is true for you. There is a way to do this in a safe and supportive manner. I do this in my sessions with clients. I’ve benefited from people asking me great questions and I love doing the same for others. When someone says “hmm I never thought about that or thought about it that way” you’ve broken through.
3. Have an open mind. Fluidity in beliefs. Considering possibilities other than what you’re currently experiencing even if it seems like fantasy at first. A former mentor used to say “my current belief about this is…”: I liked this because it showed the willingness to explore different information and see how it felt against her personal core values and belief system. It wasn’t rigid, but open and often inviting. Asking the question “what else is possible here” can be a great way to open this up. (job, pain, relationship). Where we are is not the end all be all. There’s always another way to look at something.
4. Awareness of your own beliefs. When we get to the point where we can self-identify and self-edit, that’s a good place. It can take a little discipline, but can be beneficial to our process. Access Bars “who does this belong to?” “What is this about?” influence on you and asking questions - is this something that I believe or a story from someone else that I started to believe. This is where our intuition can really help us get to know what is our true self vs others too.
5. Affirmations. These get a bad wrap, but I think they can be super effective if you dive in. Over the years I’ve had several bouts of daily affirmations and then giving them a rest. But you know what? I always feel good when I do them, and they always make me think. I had a recent awareness about an affirmation I was saying, but where I wasn’t really living it. After a good cry, I picked myself back up and remembered that I get to choose how I show up. So, I made some changes that were in support of this affirmation and I feel good about it and my alignment. They can be comforting, a little fake it til you make it, but when we believe and align with the statements behind the “I AM” energy it is very powerful.

So what do you think about your beliefs? Are they getting in the way of your healing? And do you think healing is possible?

If this is a topic that you’d like to shift and need support, let me know! I’ve found that unwinding my beliefs and re-programming them could not have been done alone and I’m so grateful for my peeps who help me in this area. Click here to setup some time to talk. Also if you have some tips you’d like to share about your beliefs, I’d love to hear them. Shoot me a note at hello@shannonnsmith.com.

When we are able to appreciate where we are, living from a state of gratitude, we are able to experience one of the highest vibrational states in terms of mhz scale. Enlightenment is ~700+ and love is ~500. I’ve seen gratitude/appreciation listen around the same as love. From this space, you’re beyond acceptance, you don’t need to reason anything out, you’re just vibing with everything and enjoying the experience you’re having.

It moves fast and free. There’s little to no restriction in this place. This reminds me of my old days in chemistry class where we learned about the different states of matter. For example water can be solid, liquid or gas. When it is in each state the atoms move at different rates of speed. In the gaseous state, the atoms move fast. This is what I think of when I think of the frequency of love, appreciation and gratitude; lots of atoms buzzing around a space. When they are cold they are slow or stagnant, when they are hot they move around at a sometimes erratic state and fast.

Abraham Hicks opened my eyes to really understanding the power of gratitude, the power of the mind and how it can adapt when we make gratitude a practice. This can be from finding the silver lining in a situation, to intentional time during the day to focus on everything right in your day, or even a full on rampage of appreciation. I mean, at the core, this is all mindset work!

Something I’ve done for a few years now is a daily gratitude journaling process. This practice has evolved over time (visible box, daily morning and evening, before sleep), but daily in the morning has stuck. It’s something I look forward to. And it’s not that I only reserve the morning to find things to appreciate, it’s constant throughout the day. The ideas I have, the person who crossed my path, the amazing meal, the way my body responded to something, the emotion I experienced in an interaction; it’s all relevant and worthy of in the moment gratitude. 

This is where 21 days of gratitude was birthed. I realized I was really good at celebrating others, but didn’t celebrate myself enough and it was time to fix that. This is the 3rd year I’m doing this for my birthday and I’ve found that there is more healing in the delivery than before. I’m not sure if I’m more present or if it’s something else, but I’m seeing old topics with new lensing which is bringing about more clearing and healing than I expected. I’m more excited about what I’m creating and what the future holds. This is also why I don’t have a problem digging in the dark and talking about the hard topics because you never know what you’re going to find. There’s clearing and healing on the other side of it. And freedom too!

How it’s helped me from a health perspective

Changing my mindset around my body from one of being duped and body is doing something wrong to one of my body is supporting me constantly and trying to relay information to me about what’s going on. This has helped me appreciate my body more because I understand the complexity it takes to make it function each day, and how smart my body is to have back ups to it’s back ups. Most importantly I understand it reacts to a stimulus just like anything else. If you don’t pay a bill your service gets cut. If you water a plant it will grow. If your body has a stimulus it will react…just not always in the way we want or think it should. Gratitude has made this very clear for me and really brought out my inner Sherlock Holmes. It’s exponentially increased my desire to alchemize and understand the different ways things impact my body and my health. 

But it’s helped me appreciate how cool the process can be, especially when you start to see results from the changes you make to a food, behavior, or even something external. I posted awhile ago that I gained 4lbs in a week and I was happy about it. Not because I wanted the extra weight, but because my body responded to a stimulus and I was aware enough to break down what happened, why, and what I could do about it. It’s now a big old puzzle and game I can play with my body and really everything in my life to not only understand, but improve my health and then share with others how they can do the same.

I’m no longer making myself, my body and my experience wrong for what’s happening. It all has a purpose and in some schools of thought I created the experience for a reason anyway, so it’s my job to figure it out and get the lesson so I can move on.

What’s been the impact?

There are four areas that I can think of where having more gratitude in my life has helped. 

1. Health: I’ve already mentioned some of this, but I now have a greater appreciation for my body and what it takes to function each day. I also thank my body for doing the basics and supporting me when I push it beyond where it wants to go. I talk to my body and am able to trust that it will support me because that is all it ever does. Because I no longer think my body is attacking me or that I’ve done something wrong to feel a certain way, my experience has improved. I’ve created more alignment with my body, understanding of what it needs, and an environment that is more supportive.
2. Relationships with others: Gratitude has simply helped me appreciate others. It helps me understand that I have support in others when I need it (even if it doesn’t look the way I think it should). It has made me more present to how I interact with others and how I can be perceived through those interactions. It helps me see more of the good in others too.
3. It rubs off on others: When people see how you’re able to find the good in most or possibly all situations (don’t worry, it can take some time to do this after a situation), it rubs off on them. They want to be a little more positive too. There is a ripple effect that happens because when you see others improving and having their lives experience life changing shifts…you want some of that too! 
4. Experience more good: This is a little law of attraction for you. When you are able to see the good around you, more good comes looking for you. It’s pretty simple. You are able to reduce your stress and stop worrying about what you don’t have, so your good things expand. When your good things expand, you are about to see more and be exposed to new things - ideas, opportunities, people etc. You also see your journey in a new way and connect to things outside of yourself in a different way. This is where magic and transformation happen.

Here’s a little secret…

One hack I’ve done with my gratitude is being grateful for the things to come. If I'm manifesting something, I thank it for its presence now even though it isn’t physically mine yet. Energetically I claim it and do my best to align with it because the subconscious mind doesn’t know whether it’s “here” yet or not. All it knows is I’m grateful for the thing, so that’s what really matters, right? But do you see how the opposite could register for something we don’t want? If we worry about something happening, the subconscious could register it as going to happen or having occurred and energetically we align with that…whether we want to or not. The things we have in our lives now are the things we have already created, so in a sense they are past tense. In order to create more and bring that into our lives, we need to tap into the power of creation and the infinite possibility that we have access to. 

Does love have a role in the healing process?

I’ve been exploring the role of alignment and love in healing. When we are able to tune into the frequency of love and let the body recalibrate…is there any impact? There have been studies where a plant or even water have been exposed to love or positive words/music and grown faster or made pretty, intricate patterns. Why wouldn’t our cells be the same. I know my experience shifts when I’m in gratitude and since love is the same ball park, this should be the same result if not better. I would guess that by allowing and receiving more love in our lives, we are able to transform ourselves and everything around us. And that our bodies, even down to our individual cells, respond to us feeling, being, and embodying that love. 

Plus, when you’re coming from this space, you aren’t as distracted by the things around you or the judgment from others, there’s a focus that exists where you can’t really describe but a sense of surrender as well. And assuredness. You know that it feels good and it feels right, so therefore that is what is. 

I’m grateful because I learned something about myself, another person, or group. There is a lesson in every experience, so what can you appreciate from that?

Ways to get more gratitude

Gratitude journal daily. I’m putting this in the same camp as celebrating oneself. It’s kind of similar, in that you have to find the good and not default to what’s wrong or bad. You actually can’t see the other side from where you are if you’re in the extreme…which is kind of the point. I do this daily, in the morning, and in a dedicated journal but any time of the day is good if it works for you. You can even buy a journal that has specific prompts for you to follow if it’s difficult to write from a blank page. But the key is to get started. Oh, and set an alarm as a reminder if you need to. 

• Physical reminder. At one point I had a little decorative box in my bathroom serving as a reminder to write down my gratitude. I would tear off slips of paper and write things about my day. The key was to keep the box in a location where I’d always see it. You can do the same to begin if you need a visual cue to serve as a reminder for your daily gratitude. You’ll want to clear out your box periodically, so it will be nice to read through your gratitude to build momentum.
• Reflect and find proof. Speaking of gaining momentum, reflecting on the past may be a good way to start. Sometimes it’s difficult finding the good where we are, so looking backward may help. I call this building your “list of proof” that there is good in your life. When you’re able to see the good things that have happened in the past, you can relate these to where you are now. Seeing evidence from the past will help you identify the situations now to appreciate.
• Seek guidance. Sometimes seeing the good is difficult. I completely understand that. If you don’t feel comfortable or confident in your ability to do that a coach can help. A coach has your best interests in mind and can teach you how to see good, equip you with tools, won’t judge you and will celebrate with you as you navigate your gratitude journey. Remember, this really is about mindset, so changing your mindset can take time but is easier with assistance.
• Involve others, get a buddy. You can get a gratitude or appreciation buddy. I’ve found that when I have someone with a vested interest, it helps me stick to my new task. They can also help you see different perspectives about a situation because we tend to have blindspots about our own lives. It is a mutually beneficial relationship because you get to help each other improve your lives and see more good in everything you see and do. 

As you can see, gratitude can make a huge difference in your life. When you’re able to see the good in your life, magic can happen for you and everyone around you. If you are looking to experience more gratitude in your life, I’d love to support you. Feel free to send an email to hello@shannonnsmith.com or set up time to chat so we can talk about your goals.

This is exactly what happened for me. As I shared before in the “Loving the skin you’re in" blog post I was never quite comfortable in mine. There ended up being several reasons for this, but once I cracked the code, I realized I started feeling better. Now, I’ve always considered myself to be a healthy person, exercising and eating relatively well, but I see now that I was naive to the many layers beyond this that contribute to being healthy and well. You see, an autoimmune, or any diagnosis really, will do that to you. I shifted because I had to, but in the end it’s turned into a desire to give my body the best where possible.

Once I was able to move beyond mindset and make better decisions, it became about getting as much information as possible, then re-building my world so it was more supportive of what I knew and believed in. I had new information, so it was up to me to use it and find ways to integrate it into my life consistently. The farther I get on this body and wellness journey, the more I realize how much our environments and the products we use can make us sick and cause more stress than we need. 

Ok, what should I know first?

We’ve talked about stress and how our bodies are subjected to different types of stress daily whether we know it or not. I’ve mentioned oxidative stress, which occurs from environmental factors, but contributes to the toxin load in the body. This can come from air, water, cleaning supplies, beauty products among others. When the body encounters these toxins, it absorbs into the cells and tissues, but once the systems realize what’s going on, the body immediately attempts to expel the toxins and get back in balance. But what if there’s a lot of toxins or toxin overload? Well, the body will kick into high gear to get them out, and sometimes there’s an effect. Skin changes, body odor changes, diarrhea, mood shifts, and congestion are all ways the body can respond to expel toxins. In order to get balance back, some systems have to work harder and others less so…and this is the result. 

One of the things I didn’t know is that many of the products we use daily have ingredients that can cause our bodies to do things we don’t want. Painful periods, mood swings, acne, cancers, infertility, nervous and immune system issues, and more can be caused by products that contain carcinogens and endocrine disruptors. These are substances that prevent our body systems from talking to one another to perform optimally. I don’t know about you, but I know I’ve experienced some of these things. Painful periods…check. Mood swings…check. Nervous and immune system issues…check. And the products I consume can cause all of these things? Holy crap!!! That was my reaction when I started putting the pieces together. How could I not know this? Why is this not broadly distributed information? And how do I fix it? I don’t want all of this stuff in my body! 

Now I want ALL of the information! Give it to me!

This information isn’t something I gathered through general curiosity. I began to increase my awareness of products through my exposure to and use of essential oils. What I’ve found interesting about that is the drive for the quality products and their ingredients causes one to become more inquisitive about how things are made. When in the oil world, there are oils (or combinations of them) for just about everything. You want to know where each is from and how it can be used to enhance your life. Whether something can be ingested or not, and why? What happens when an oil is added to something and then put in the body? 

I know I became more curious about oils and how they interact with my body out of necessity, but it turned into a love affair of sorts. But my natural desire to learn and grow contributed to my expansion into oil infused products, and then the understanding that just like the origin of oils mattered, so did everything else I used. And I’ve also found that many of the people in these circles are here for health reasons, see results, and then see the benefits and don’t look back. It becomes a lifestyle and a desire to learn as much as possible so you can help yourself and others be as knowledgeable as possible about the world around us. 

You have my attention, where are these things hiding?!

There are several common places to find culprits with potentially harmful chemicals. And one thing to be aware of is your location in the world. Different areas of the world consider certain substances to be more dangerous than others, so this is even more reason to do your research to understand what’s locally available and the regulations around your products. This one really blew my mind when I learned about it. Our local and national governments set the laws and regulations that determine the chemicals and ingredients that make it into our products. The “acceptable” levels of them and how/where they can be used. Sometimes this is for our own individual good, but other times…not. There are many interests that play into the products we have access to and that is something we need to be aware of. 

I notice that when I travel and go to a supermarket there are differences in the products on the shelves. Even if some of the products are the same as here in the USA, the ingredients often are not. A great example of this is soft drinks. For the longest time, there were limited options when it came to available sizes for soft drinks (let’s just say medium (which would be 12oz) and up, but that has changed. Now there are smaller can sizes available, which has almost always been the case in Europe. You’ll also find that soft drinks taste different in the USA vs most other countries because of the ingredients used, but you’ll still have the same label. Even candy bars and eggs taste different!

Here are some of the most common places you’ll expect to see these sneaky (or not so sneaky) ingredients hidden:

• Cleaning - household cleaners, laundry detergents, dish soap
• Beauty/Personal Care - soaps, makeup, lotions, toothpaste, deodorant, hair products
• Food/pesticides - fresh produce and vegetables, water, food storage containers
• Other - candles, air fresheners

Ingredients to look out for

Knowing where to look for these products is only part of the battle. Many of these substances have multiple names depending on the product they’re in and how they’re being used. So this is why doing research, reading labels, and equipping yourself with accessible research is important to stay ahead of the game. Here are some of the common ingredients found in the products listed above to be aware of, but they are by no means an exhaustive list. 

Parabens - Parabens are synthetic preservatives used in makeup, lotion, hair care products, shaving creams, toothpaste, suntan products, personal lubricant, and some deodorants. They are not regulated by the FDA, but used as microbial to prevent spoilage of products (https://www.fda.gov/cosmetics/cosmetic-ingredients/parabens-cosmetics). According to available studies they are safe for use in trace amounts as used in individual products. In 1984, it was originally determined that they were safe for consumption by the Cosmetic Industry Review (CIR) and then again verified in 2006 (https://www.cdc.gov/biomonitoring/Parabens_FactSheet.html). 

Sulfates - These are used in shampoos, face and body cleansers, toothpaste, soaps, laundry detergent and household cleaners to help create the suds and lather we all love. They are, however, also used to clean and degrease heavy machinery in the manufacturing and construction industries. This means they are extremely powerful and may be stronger than our bodies actually need, deleting needed naturally produced substances, rather than supporting or helping them grow. There are 9 different types of sulfates, so be on the lookout for all of them )https://www.illumai.com/blogs/biome-beauty/what-are-sulfates).

Fragrance - This is a catch all used in products to make them smell good. Unfortunately, there’s no way to tell what’s actually included in this category. It is a category to look out for because if there are too many extra things to enhance the smell of a product, it usually means it’s far from natural and good for us. 

Triclosan - This chemical was first registered as a pesticide in the US in 1969. It is a germ-killer commonly found in antibacterial soaps. In the United States it has been banned except for usage in toothpaste, hand sanitizer, and mouthwash, making it still pretty widely used in products. Exposure has been linked to allergies, asthma, and food sensitivities. Studies have linked this chemical to problems with the body’s thyroid hormone metabolism and could be a potential endocrine disruptor (https://www.beyondpesticides.org/resources/antibacterials/triclosan/health-effects).

Phthalates - These are a group of chemicals used to make plastics more durable. Phthalates are in hundreds of products, such as vinyl flooring, lubricating oils, and personal-care products (soaps, shampoos, hair sprays). Once they enter the bloodstream, they can aggravate allergy and asthma symptoms in some people and have been found to alter hormone levels. Human health effects due to exposure to phthalates is not clear, but they have been shown to affect the reproductive system of animals (https://www.cdc.gov/biomonitoring/Phthalates_FactSheet.html).

BPA - BPA stands for bisphenol A, an industrial chemical that has been used to make certain plastics and resins since the 1950s. You can find this in containers to store food and drinks, and even consumer goods. Some research has shown that BPA can seep into food or beverages from containers that are made with BPA. Exposure to BPA is a concern because of the possible health effects on the brain and prostate gland, and even possible links to increased blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease. However, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has said that BPA is safe at the very low levels that occur in some foods (https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/bpa/faq-20058331).

Metals are also used in many of our products, sometimes hidden and sometimes not. When consumed (absorbed through the skin or ingested through the mouth) in large amounts, this can lead to hormone imbalances, metal poisoning, liver and kidney damage, among other things. 

Ok, this is good. What can I do now that I know all of this?

Read labels - This is the easiest place to start. Now that you know some of the most common names, you can look for them in the products you use regularly. Most labels list ingredients in descending order, which means if a product has a lot of an ingredient it will be listed toward the top of the list.

Find and replace - This one seems obvious, right? Once we know we have harmful ingredients in our products, they simply must go. But what do we replace them with? For fruits and veggies you can buy organic or locally sourced foods. Think farmer’s market and potentially lesser known grocery chains. I also check the organic section of my normal grocery store to see if there are good options. For products, a little research is always helpful to obtain product reviews. I personally use many products infused with essential oils, so that is a route to take as well. Also, instead of throwing away old products, donating them to an organization or non-profit may be a good idea.

Be flexible - Sometimes finding and replacing products means changing the way you purchase your food and products. It may mean going to a new store or two because the ingredients are more cost effective or higher quality. It also may mean ordering from a farm or having food delivered. Being open to new and different options will be beneficial so you can find out what you like and what works for you and your family.

Add to your arsenal - If you aren’t able to access there are products that can support cleansing on a broader scale, you can try something small to support the products you already use. An example of this is to soak produce in baking soda water to remove pesticides before eating/cooking if you aren’t able to purchase organic. 

Diet - Changing up your diet is a great way to support your body to filter out the chemicals from these pesky toxins and then build up your defenses so all of your systems are more resilient. Reducing processed foods as much as possible and eating whole foods is the best way to go here, but if that isn’t possible, read your labels carefully. You may consider foods and/or supplements that have increased antioxidants to assist your body in expelling the toxins that may be in your system. If you do this, you may want to consult a medical professional for guidance.

Read and educate - Do your research. Now that you have some keywords to be aware of in your products, you can do more digging and get more educated on this topic. You can go through your cabinets and see what is present in your most used products and then decide what you’d like to do about it. There are a number of websites and apps that exist to understand which products contain dangerous chemicals. Here are several that you can try to support your research, assessing your existing products and picking new ones. 

• Think Dirty
• Environmental Working Group (EWG) Healthy Living
• Dirty Dozen
• Food Scores
• EWG Skin Guide
• Good Guide
• Bobby Approved
• Non-GMO Shopping Guide

This is such an important topic and we just scratched the surface! I hope you’ve found it helpful and are able to use this information to make at least one change in the products and foods you’re consuming to lessen the toxins in your life. If you have other information that you use or tips to share about your low/no-tox life, I’d love to hear it. Shoot me a note at hello@shannonnsmith.com to share. And if you’d like some help taking the next step to clean up the toxins in your life, I’d love to chat with you. Click here to setup some time to talk.

So what happened after those pictures where I decided that something was wrong with my body? We don’t think about our bodies until we start to hear and see things different from us. We start to compare ourselves to our friends and what we see on TV and then somehow something goes awry.

All of a sudden we have flaws and we become uncomfortable in our skin.

Puberty doesn’t exactly help either. We all develop and have body things happen at different rates and times and no one knows how to deal with it. So, we tease and taunt and judge. I went through puberty early and it was a total and complete mess of a time. I was teased and bullied for a variety of reasons, which contributed to the confusion.

Until that point, we’re influenced by our families and know that we want to feel loved and accepted by others. We’ll do whatever it takes for that to happen because all we know is conditional love, whether we know it or not. We see others and compare. We seek external approval and do what gets us that good feeling because that’s what society tells us to do.

If there’s anything different or seemingly out of place we push against it because we could be made wrong for it (whether or not we have control over it). Enter bullying, body shaming and dysmorphia, eating disorders or worse. We want so desperately to fit into something that underneath the surface is broken and false. Our own internal radar gets suppressed and diminished in the process, where sometimes we can’t recover.

Many of us don’t grow up seeing images of ourselves in the media and information we consume, so we think we’re wrong or don’t belong. I have this from multiple angles internally and externally. I’m from a bi-racial family, so there were several things about belonging and fitting in that added to my complexity. My skin didn’t look the same, nor did my hair, nor did my words or experiences. I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere because I didn’t share a lot of the things “we’re supposed to” share. I didn't understand this impact until later in life. It caused me to shut down my natural feelings and intuition, be more observant, become a chameleon and do what I could to fit in even though I stood out.

When you’re constantly wondering what others think and how to fit in and questioning why you’re different, you don’t have time to love and appreciate who and what you are. Now, looking back on all of this, I didn’t know better. I see that and am okay with it. Today I know that I don’t have to “fit in” to a particular category or box. My job is to be the best me I can each day, showing up authentically and as comfortable in my skin as possible (which is still difficult on some days). But how do we get to the point where we shift the mindset from “what’s wrong with me, why don’t I fit in?” to “I’m comfortable with me and that’s what matters most”?

I think it boils down to acceptance and understanding, then from there we can have love and compassion. Then we can extend ourselves some grace and then ultimately love. When we have love we can switch to gratitude. Gratitude for our experience, for getting through it and becoming who we’ve been as a result, then finally thanking our bodies for being there the entire time. Through the judgements, abuse, fear, and labels our bodies have been there to carry us.

One of the main teachings from the book A Course in Miracles is there are 2 spaces to operate from: love or fear. I think when we come from the perspective of fitting in, we’re coming from fear. Fear of not fitting in, not being enough, doing something wrong, being too big or small and so on. When we’re judging ourselves or others we are coming from this place as well. We are lacking, wrong and therefore we need to make up for it in some capacity. We cannot see the good from here.

When we come from the perspective of love, we see that these previous thoughts are not only irrelevant, they have no place in our existence. When we come from a place of love for ourselves, bodies, experience we are able to appreciate everything that got us to today. We’re able to see the strength, grit, beauty, perseverance, opportunities, lessons, and ultimately grow. And you know what? We are love in its purest form. You at your core are love and magic. We just need to peel a few layers back to remember.

That’s a pill to swallow, huh? Don’t worry, I’m still working on this one myself. I know I’m magical and do magical things all the time, but the love part gets me. I’m a nice person and do my best to help myself and others as much as possible, but I don’t always consider myself as love. Maybe we can work on that one together. But what I will tell you, when you find those moments to remember your core, not only will you feel better but life will flow with more ease. You’ll think, act, and carry yourself differently. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and try.

So how do we get back to that????

Do you really know what brings you joy? Like what are the things that make you genuinely smile and happy. I know I didn’t understand what these things were for me because I had catered to others for so long, I lost my own magic. When we’re so busy with family, life, work, obligations etc it can be hard to know/remember what lights us up. This is one of the keys to getting back to your body and to a place where you can say you love your body. Finding your own joy. Here are a few more:

Release the need to compare - Simply stop it. You have more important things to do than to sit and compare yourself to others or wonder what they’re thinking of you. You are reclaiming your magic and in order to do that you need to know yourself and what makes you tick. So that means staying in your lane and getting to know yourself. Knowing who you are, what you like, what you’re good at are all important for this journey and have nothing to do with others. You may even want to look at where this desire to compare comes from. If it’s a learned behavior, consider giving it back to the person who planted that seed (figuratively, not literally) and reclaim your agency as an adult and powerful being.

There’s a wonderful (and someone painful) exercise I love doing called the mirror exercise where you stand naked in front of a mirror and view yourself. You ask what you like/dislike about your body and where these thoughts come from. When you get to the bottom of this and can release it, there’s a level of freedom and acceptance that no one will ever be able to take away from you. And if you can’t do full body, just look at your face in the mirror and talk to who you see looking back.

Increase gratitude - I vividly remember my darkest and lowest days. I know that I had many horrible thoughts about my body as a result. I also know that I didn’t know any better and that I’m not in that place anymore. For that, I give my body gratitude for putting up with me and my mindset, but also for showing me the way to release and shift that which needed to change. I give gratitude for where I am today because there’s been so much growth. So where can you be grateful for your body and how you’ve gotten to today? Can you find one thing each day where you can say “thank you body” even if it’s to celebrate not being where you were 6 months or 2 years ago. Reflect and see the good (by staying in your lane and not comparing your journey to others) and you’ll see that your body will respond.

Get clear on your operating system - When that little voice gets going, do you know where it is coming from? Is it on autopilot with negative thoughts and judgments or is it clear and objective? When we take a minute to understand where we’re coming from, it can help us think differently about our bodies and make different decisions. One way to do this is using the love/fear perspective I used above and ask “where am I coming from right now? If I were operating from a place of love I would…and from a place of fear I would…” With this perspective, you can understand what’s driving thoughts about your body and even with life in general. This evaluation can be eye opening when you do it, so be ready for a surprise and don’t be afraid to ask questions to unpack what comes up.

Give your body a voice - Ask your body what it wants to feel good. This can be for food, clothing, exercise, or an activity. I used to work with a coach who encouraged people to ask “what would magic look like today?” when picking their clothes for work each day. Going through the day with that tone puts a little more pep in your step, huh? If we did this more often, tapping into our intuition and seeing what our bodies want to feel good, would our day change? Would the relationship with our body shift? 

Care for your body - Now that you’re able to examine what you like and dislike, with clarity on your motivations and why they exist, you can actually do more of what you love. Ask your body what it wants to feel good and do that. Find ways to incorporate this into your routine whether it’s a daily walk, quiet time to meditate, getting a massage, painting, cooking a good meal each week or anything really. But the key to this is knowing what really makes you feel good and making a point to do those things regularly. Schedule it in and hold that boundary.

So, this turned into more of a mindset thing and coming back to our true nature type of thing. Didn’t see that coming did you? What I’ve discovered on my journey is there has been so much unwinding and re-programming that I’ve had to do so I can learn who I am and what I’m about. The thoughts I used to have about my body are long gone because I see that it’s been supporting me this whole time. I had so many external forces influencing my thoughts and perceptions of myself and because of it, couldn’t see what was underneath. But, it’s okay. I walked through this so I can help others like you uncover your own magic and get back to who you came here to be. If any of this resonates at all, let me know! Shoot me a note at hello@shannonnsmith.com to let me know your body love journey or schedule a Discovery call at this link so we can get you support to move along if that’s what you need.

For some it doesn’t happen and for others it can be mild. For me, it was not mild, it was quite severe. For 3 weeks I battled a “bronchitis-like virus” as labeled by the urgent care facility I visited…twice. After xrays, antibiotics, tea, and some other things, I was at a loss. Finally I decided to tell my Reiki Master what was going on and she knew exactly what to do. After a few days, I was sleeping, eating, and on the mend. 

Essential oils have been around since the beginning of time. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but let’s just say thousands of years. We’re familiar with the three wise men bringing baby Jesus gifts of frankincense and myrrh. It’s also fairly widely known about the use of oils for health and well-being in ancient Egypt and in other civilizations. Even as far back as the Ming dynasty, essential oils have been used to improve quality of life, celebrate milestones, and enhance spiritual connectedness. 

What are essential oils and how do they work?

Essential oils are extracts from plants, flowers, trees, roots, and some other naturally occurring elements in nature. They are the goodness from the plant etc in its purest form. You will usually see that they’ve gone through a cold press or distillation process to get the oil itself. You know how people talk about the healing powers of herbs and nature? Well, this is it! When you get essential oils in pure form, they are super potent and can yield many benefits for our bodies and overall well-being. 

There’s actually a lot of science behind the way essential oils work for us. I was surprised to find that the chemistry and chemical reactions in our bodies can be quite complex, but was also fascinated as well…because I love this stuff! In short, when we smell a scent it stimulates our olfactory system, which is everything in our nose and nasal cavity. This has connections to both the brain and respiration, or breathing. With oils, in particular, the scent goes in and penetrates all of the tissues in your nose and can be transported to the brain where it can stimulate areas associated with emotions, memory, and our general well-being, or the limbic system.

You know when you smell something, say fresh baked cookies or someone’s perfume, and it automatically triggers a memory or a feeling? It’s the same thing. All of these different reactions are taking place when you take that big sniff in. When you have a single oil it can be extremely beneficial, but when you blend them and those atoms and ions get to blend…it can be magical!

How can you use them?

There are several different ways to use oils, but the three most common ways are: topically, aromatically, ingesting. Wait, by ingesting do you mean I can consume them? Yup, that exactly! Here’s a little more:

• Topically: You can use essential oils by applying them topically to the skin. Since our skin is often referred to as our biggest organ, why couldn’t this be a great way to reap the benefits of an oil? There are some common places to place oils on the body, like the wrists, bottoms of the feet, and behind the ears, but you can put them just about anywhere. Depending on your purpose, there is a rhyme and reason to put an oil on a specific area of the body. There are also precautions to take as well when using oils on the skin, but I’ll talk more about that later.
• Aromatically: Most people think about aromatherapy and diffusing oils when this word comes up. The same way we like the smell of a candle or incense, we would diffuse oils to improve the smell of a room, but with oils, we’re doing more than that. Remember, our nose gets activated and then triggers other reactions to happen. Oils in the air can improve mood, stimulate different emotions, and completely shift the energy of a space. Just as easily as one can diffuse, you can also put a couple of drops of an oil in your hand, rub, and inhale. This will trigger the same response as diffusing, but may not last as long. I’ve heard of studies where mood and brain activity are monitored in a person to measure any changes before and after smelling certain oils. And there’s a change! It’s cool stuff.
• Ingesting: Yup, you can ingest oils. There are a number of ways this can be done from cooking to supplements to putting a few drops in water. You name it, I think I’ve done it. But needless to say, consuming products infused with essential oils can be life changing. Why? Well essential oils are known to cross over barriers in the body that regular foods/liquids cannot. The goodness of the oils can cross cellular membranes, stand up to “harsh” environments in the gut and tissues to be delivered wholly whereas regular foods may not be able to. This means our bodies get to experience more of the goodness and then benefits of the components of the oils.

I’m going to do another post on low tox or no-tox living and the way essential oils and products promote this, because it’s information that is needed today. Many of us aren’t taught the way to interpret labels or do research on ingredients to know whether or not they are helpful to our bodies. I’ve found this information to be extremely helpful for my own health, so spreading the knowledge is what I will do!

Okay, this all sounds good, but are there any precautions I should take?

Yes! Like any other product, essential oils shouldn’t be used as a crutch for something. They generally aren’t used medicinally long term, and if that’s the case, there may be something else going on that needs to be addressed. Even though oils have numerous benefits, they can cause different reactions to different bodies, so just as someone can have an allergic reaction to a tree or a flower, the same can occur with oils.

There are also some oils that are not good to ingest; guides exist to help with this, but if you have any questions, I’m happy to help. There are also oils that are better to use with a carrier oil, which means you add the essential oil to something like fractionated coconut oil or a natural, plain lotion to dilute its potency and minimize reaction to the skin. This can also extend the benefits by prolonging the oils components on the skin and into the body. 

I will also say that the source of your oils matters. I’ve mentioned three different ways to consume these products and when you think about it, you want to make sure you’re using high quality ingredients and processes to make anything essential oil related. For that reason, I use both DoTerra and Young Living products.

I know you can purchase oils from plenty of other vendors, but I personally like the fact that global sourcing information is readily available for oil products and the science behind why they create certain products is available as well. And lastly, the independent testing that is performed to validate the quality and integrity of the products can be used for therapeutic practices. All of these are important when it comes to our health and I like knowing the commitment that is made in these areas. 

How do I use essential oils?

Well, at the top I said that essential oils saved my life. I kinda say in jest, but I really do believe it because that is the only thing that worked when I was sickest. So, I go back to the same products if ever I feel like my body is headed toward under the weather. 

• General well-being: There are several products in my “cabinet” related to boost immunity or to assist in killing bacteria or things like that. 
• Use in sessions: Sometimes I use oils when having in person sessions. A client may need to smell a specific scent so I will either diffuse it for them or have them apply the oil to the area of the body that’s most appropriate. If in a virtual session, I may diffuse something that helps with intuition if that feels relevant. 
• Supplements/Infusions: I have several supplements that are infused with essential oils. There are so many benefits! I take a daily multivitamin and then have others I take if my body wants them. I have things ranging from protein powder, vitamins/minerals, lotions, soaps, and cleaners. All infused with oils to enhance the naturally occurring goodness.
• Diffusing: I started diffusing when I work and am actually diffusing now as I type. But there are times where I want a specific smell, so I’ll let it go for a couple of hours. I’ve found some smells good for productivity and others for calming, so you just try it out and see what works for you. 
• If I need a boost: There are several oils that I’ll either smell or use in a roll on for a pick me up. 

There’s literally an oil or blend for everything. I’m convinced of that. So, the uses and benefits are endless. And this has been proven time and again for thousands of years across the world. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to find this information and these products because I don’t know where I’d be without them. 

When starting, I used frankincense, lemon, lavender, peppermint, a multivitamin, and OnGuard (a DoTerra blend). Most companies have a kit that gives you a variety of starter oils for basic needs and then you expand from there. I got that, but used the ones I listed most often. One thing that I’ve found is we use our intuition when it comes to the oils/products we use. Our bodies know what we need, so if we think to stop for a second and ask what we need, the right ones will present themselves.

Whew! That was a lot, huh? I really trust in the power of natural solutions when it comes to our health and overall environment. There is so much to know and share when it comes to this stuff, so if there is more you’d like to know about feel free to shoot me a note at hello@shannonnsmith.com. Like I said earlier, I use both DoTerra and Young Living products, so I can speak to the products from a consumer perspective, but also from a health coach, and energetic perspective. And when you open up your imagination for the energetic stuff, it gets really cool. If you’d like to set up some time for a consult, let me know that as well. You can click here to do that. 

Did you know your body wants to support you? It goes to bat for you every single day without you having to ask. This question came into my awareness 4 years ago listening to someone talk about the role of self love in health. I was looking for answers regarding my body, about 6yrs into understanding an autoimmune diagnosis and a year into my energy healing journey, and stumbled upon this perspective. It was new for me. I had been operating under the assumption that my body was attacking and fighting me and doing all of these things…against me. And perhaps, like you, I didn’t know any better than to think this because everyone around me thought the same. 

I believe this comes from living in a place of judgement. From a young age, we’re taught to compare and judge, which may be represented as developing awareness of one’s surroundings. I know judgement is something that I’ve dealt with in myself and with others. There has been a perpetuation from society that we look, act, live a certain way and if we don’t then something is wrong with us. This happens with our bodies too. If they aren’t acting a certain way, then there’s a problem with the body. Notice that. It’s a problem with the body, not the environment. With judgement there comes resistance and when resistance is present we don’t have understanding, compassion, or alignment. 

I wanted desperately to have a different reality, but I didn’t know how to get it. I knew it wasn’t always like this, but why did it happen and what could I do to shift it back? Turns out, there was a need to unravel and discover the concept of alignment. I had heard the word, but couldn’t apply it specifically to my reality. Like many other instances, this was something I had to uncover for myself to understand and feel it to really get it. 

What does alignment mean?

Coming from the perspective that my body wants to support me, and does so daily, was very different, but somehow it eventually made sense. I didn’t know about alignment with my body or with my environment…or so I thought. You know when an athlete talks about being in the zone? They’re focused, in flow, and feel unstoppable. To me, being in flow is like that. There may be a sense of excitement, but there’s also a calm and confidence that comes with it. The word harmony comes to mind as well. Abraham Hicks also describes this as feeling “tuned in, tapped in, and turned on.” But the bottom line is you feel in control and confident in your abilities to handle whatever comes your way. 

When you are in this space you are thinking and speaking differently. You’re flowing and confident so things work in your favor. You have a situation and you know exactly how to react. The connections you need come together and everything really does have a tendency to work out. And even if they don’t immediately appear to work out, you know they do in the end. You are also able to make decisions that are more supportive. Because you are in tune to what’s going on around you, you’re able to make decisions that create more flow for your body. You’re able to understand what your body wants, understand how it’s communicating with you, and how to get the things it needs to make it happy. When you are in this space, the judgement isn’t present, but the flow, feeling, and compassion are. 

So how do we get in alignment?

You have to know that’s possible and then start the conversation. We start resisting and allow flow. We have to release the judgement and start coming from a perspective of understanding and curiosity. It’s a mindset, language, and belief shift. I started saying “thank you” to my body. I started living more in gratitude because I realized that if I could get on the same page with my body, it may start doing things differently. Better yet, I may have a chance at understanding what it’s doing, and why, then I could change something I’m doing to really create the change I’m looking for. And if you’ll notice one thing, I’m referring to my body as a separate entity. I know it’s my body and I’m here living and breathing in my meat suit, but I’m talking to it like a friend. And expecting it to respond to me as such. 

This actually matters though, the way we talk to ourselves. Our subconscious forms our lead, but also takes our lead. We learn early on how and what to think about our bodies. This includes what’s possible for them and how to talk to and about ourselves. If we don’t have an environment that supports the positive talk, or if we don’t believe it for ourselves, there’s a disconnect. I had the positive reinforcement from others in my environment, but I didn’t believe it for myself. There were several reasons for this, some environmental and some energetic, but I had to buy in as well. Anyway, our subconscious drives how we operate and respond until we learn new ways of operating. That happens when a question like “did you know your body always wants to support you?” comes along and causes you to consider different perspectives.

When you’re considering different perspectives you’re more aware of what feels good and doesn’t. You know how you feel when you’re out of alignment so can get clear on how you want to feel. When you know distinctly what both feel like, it’s easier to pivot because you know where you are and what to do about it. Well, we’ll get you to the point where you feel comfortable pivoting if and when you need to. You start to ask questions about your current reality and what it took to get here, and most importantly, what needs to change to fix it. Remember, the mindset and language are now shifting and the belief that you are supported and have things working in your favor is what gets air time. And it’s not about staying in this aligned and possibly enlightened state constantly, it’s about being there most of the time and feeling confident that you can get back when you need to.

Okay, this is making some sense, but HOW do I actually do this?

Acknowledge that there are different ways to think and operate - When we open to new perspectives, we start to ask different questions and receive different answers. This has been my experience, anyway. You can do this by finding people who have done what you want to do, finding a community in person or online with like minded people, conduct research on books/resources by authors or figures that pique your interest. What’s also helpful is understanding where your beliefs about your body come from. If you’re holding a belief like “there’s something wrong with me and my body” that’s coming from somewhere and it’s important to know that other beliefs are available if you want to find them. Once your mind shifts, your body will follow.

Get clarity in how alignment would feel and find proof - Usually when we want something it’s because we’re feeling a certain way and want something different. The current circumstance isn’t working. So, we need to get clear on what we’re feeling, then what we want to feel instead. With our bodies, it’s the same. If we’re feeling tired, weak, or in pain we can remember times where we weren’t feeling these things, even recent days. Finding proof of where this hasn’t been the reality is a great reminder that you’ve had it before and can have it again. Also getting clear on the feelings you’re looking to have. If we’re looking to feel strong, secure, free, peaceful…where do you have that now. 

Write a letter to your body - This sounds a little odd, but hear me out. If you’re hoping to start a conversation with your body this is a great way to do it. I’ve mentioned writing letters to other people before, so it’s the same premise. You are looking for answers so be honest. Tell your body how you're feeling, what you want to know/understand, the impact of having your body be a certain way, how you’d like to feel, ask your body what it wants to tell you, and ask what your body would need to feel better. Do it exactly like you’re writing to a friend or parent, but to your body. See if there are any themes, emotions, or any information that comes up as a result. You may be surprised at what comes up!

Affirm your alignment - I think affirmations get a bad rap. Some think they’re cheesy or ineffective, but when we speak about ourselves we need to be intentional because the energy of our words matters. This is particularly the case when we’re judging ourselves. Our subconscious doesn’t know the difference between having something or dreaming about something as if we have it, as long as we believe in what we’re saying. I said affirmations for years and sometimes I felt good about them and others not. The key for me was realizing the power behind the statements of “I am” or “I have”. Once I was able to say the words, I got to the point of believing them, and then I got to the point of embodying them. That’s where the goodness is.

Choose to see good - Being in a space of gratitude is extremely helpful when it comes to our bodies, but life in general. As I mentioned with our subconscious programming, the way we talk to ourselves matters because our subconscious doesn’t know whether we’re joking or if the words really mean something to us. Finding ways to be in appreciation of your body, even if it’s waking up in the morning and breathing, is a great first step. I say “thank you body” or “good job body” multiple times a day now because I realize that I’m being supported. Whether we’re doing chores, working out, physically struggling, or relaxing our body is doing something for us and we have to acknowledge that. 

Explore energetic factors - I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this. For many of us, energetic factors cannot be ignored when it comes to our bodies. Whether it is energetic attachments causing disruption to akashic loops causing our body patterns to stored beliefs and emotions causing us to stay stuck in frustration, all can have an influence. Working with an energy healer to identify these things and clear them can work wonders if you’re open to it. For me, all of this was relevant and has been nothing short of transformative in my experience and reality, which is why I dove head first into this work to help others. And I love helping my clients with these breakthroughs because it can be life changing.

Making choices to support your body and its alignment is key. Obviously we want to find our alignment and keep it as much as we can, right? We do this by having tools so we can feel confident and prepared to navigate our days. Here are a few things I use to help with my body alignment.

Muscle testing - As I mentioned before, I talk to my body all day. I’m now to the point where I ask it what it wants and I’m usually able to listen and provide. I do this using muscle testing for all decisions. Sometimes it’s pure intuition, but others I do ask my body if it’s a good idea to do certain things around food and movement. When you start, it’s best to build your confidence by asking questions like eating an apple or banana, but when you do, pay attention to how you feel afterward. Did you feel energized or tired and bloated? Paying attention to how your body reacts after asking the questions is really the key because you begin to understand how your body responds to things. More magic happens here when you build your confidence with this. 

Get quiet - meditation is a great way to strengthen the connection with your body. You can sit quietly and feel the different sensations of your body, focusing on a specific body part or move through the body one area at a time. You can also pose a question and sit in silence with your body to see if an answer comes. I would recommend 5-10 minutes each sitting this to start.

Double down on diet - I think we know by now that our food impacts our body and what it’s able to do. From mental to physical performance, our bodies like when we eat certain foods and dislike others. I’ve noticed that when I eat more sugar, processed foods, and fats my body doesn’t like it. It feels more sluggish, disconnected, and even my mood changes. When we eat things that support healthier habits, our bodies tend to respond. When I became more conscientious about the foods I ate, my body responded. This means removing things from my diet and either finding replacements or adding in new things that worked better. Being curious and flexible was definitely my key with this so I could stick with new habits.

Move your body - I’ve always tried to be an active person when I can be. The one thing I’ve noticed when I’m active is I can get a better sense of what my body wants and how it feels. Dance is my go to, but I also like walking a lot now. When I dance, I am “in my body” and when I allow myself to really feel the music there is a difference. I lose myself. I’m not a yogi, but I know that it’s great for your body and getting connected. You need to intentionally breathe and maintain the poses. There is a level of connection between the body and mind that is required for this to happen. The concentration and flow that also happens can be beautiful. Tai chi and qi gong are also similar in that poses are completed in a sequence, but require concentration and flow with the body and breath. 

I’m someone who naturally talks to themselves, so that made this whole talking to my body business easier. It can be something to get used to, but once you get started, you may find that it’s easy, can be fun, and you may not want to stop! For me, being willing to explore new and different ideas was also key to shifting my perception of what was possible for me and my health. It may take some getting out of your comfort zone to find new perspectives, but we don’t grow if we don’t push a little. I’d love to hear about your body journey and if you’ve been able to find alignment. Also, if you need help with creating or improving alignment with your  body, I’d love to help with that. Shoot me an email at hello@shannonnsmith.com or schedule a Discovery call at this link so we can uncover your best your next steps.

Different types of stressors

Over the last few years, I’ve adopted the school of thought that the external environment impacts what happens to and inside of the physical body. There is lots of research now where studies show the body responding to external stimuli and adapting...it’s fascinating. And also supports the premise of everything being energy. For simplicity purposes, I’m going to keep the way I think about stressors as two categories: external and internal. 

• Internal - I see these as the things that we put in or on our physical body to impact what happens inside. They can cause chemical and physiological changes in our bodies. These can be food, liquids and toxins that enter through the mouth or skin and are digested or processed by the body in some manner.
• External - I see these as the things external to our physical body and can impact the way our body performs or responds. Examples of this include physical home, people, media, or the environment. We exist around these things, but never consume them like food.

Within external stressors, I also like to break these out into sub-categories because of the way the body can experience them (and one thing to keep in mind is they all impact each other). 

• • Oxidative - This is the toxic stress that our bodies process from air pollutants, cleaning substances, chemicals on our foods and in the products used on our bodies 
  • Mental - This can be when you have lots of decisions or are overextended with obligations and are unable to be alert or quickly access “normal” brain function. 
  • Emotional - When you’re overwhelmed and unable to process your emotions to release them. Whether they are your emotions or someone else’s, they can cause duress and impact the ability to think clearly
  • Physical - When your body is under stress from something like exercising or even physical duress from a trauma.

What happens in stress response?

We typically think of stress response as fight or flight. This is when our bodies respond to a potential threat by adjusting hormones to prepare us for action. Imagine you are out in the wild minding your business, enjoying the fresh air and scenery. All of a sudden, a big bear appears off to the side. Eeeek! Your heartbeat gets fast, body temperature rises, blood pumps faster, hands get clammy. What do you do??!?!

That reaction is your body triggering fight or flight...and you have a decision to make in the name of survival. Your adrenaline surges, as well as cortisol and other hormones, which allows you to quickly act and get to safety. But when this happens, your body’s sole focus is on getting to safety, not making smart decisions. Blood rushes to the limbs to rrruuuunnnnnn!!!!! This is great if there’s a quick situation that threatens your life, like a bear, but what if there is a heightened sense of stress and elevated levels of stress hormones over time? That can’t be good for the body, right?

Stress over long periods of time

It’s good to know our bodies have this innately programmed in for safety, right? The problem is our bodies (and minds) can register any type of stress as threatening. We get hormone spikes anytime our bodies perceive there is a stressor. A loud noise. A bear. A hard decision. Uncertainty. All of these things qualify as a stressor. And, what if there is stress over long periods of time?

Our bodies can adapt to a heightened state of stress, but over time there can actually be reduced performance and even damage to our body systems and their ability to operate effectively when we really need it. Think about this, when you’re tired, you can’t react as fast as you’d like or complete tasks in the same manner as when you’re well rested. The systems of our bodies are very interconnected and act the same way. When we experience heightened stress over time, it weighs on our body.

Some of the things the body goes through with extended periods of stress are:

• Immunity - As described in the bear example, blood rushes to our extremities in fight or flight, which means all of the systems and organs that aren’t responsible for running from the bear are left out. This means that just about everything gets drained and the focus is no longer on digesting lunch or resting for sleep, it’s all on survival. Our nervous, digestive, immune, and circulatory systems aren’t able to communicate, filter, and transport substances through and out of the body as designed. When all of these systems can’t talk with ease, some organs/glands overwork and others shut down or under produce. Problems arise.
• Decision Making - You know when you’re tired and not able to think clearly? The feeling of brain fog and not being able to find the words you want. Well stress does that too. Stress limits our ability to focus in many ways. In the example of running from a bear, the blood goes to the arms and legs to run! We’re getting out of dodge because our life depends on it. But with prolonged stress our blood and hormones are 
• Weight - When our hormones are out of whack, this can automatically lead to weight issues. The thyroid produces hormones that help the body understand how much of these hormones to excrete in digestion and basic energy production processes. When the thyroid doesn’t have proper communication from the brain and to/with other glands and organs in the body due to stress-induced confusion, weight gain or loss can be the result.
• Disconnected - When we have prolonged periods of stress, we tend to worry more and potentially have more anxiety. There is less of the feel good hormone, or dopamine, being produced. We tend to have more fear and pessimism about life with the bad feeling more bad when it happens. This can also lead to feelings of isolation from others and not taking care of our well-being.

What can you do about it?

There are so many things you can do to help your body release, reduce, and respond to stress. Here are seven ways that I use for myself:

• Clear your space - From clutter (e.g. physical, emotional, mental, digital etc) and stress if you can. When we are bogged down with clutter we can’t focus on what matters most, but our bodies can feel the pressure from it, physically and energetically. Having a supportive and peaceful environment for sleep (at the very least) is helpful for that rest and digest I mentioned earlier. Also plants are known to filter particulates from the air and are great for a more peaceful, calm, supportive environment.
• Eliminate toxins - Speaking of particulates, we are exposed to a variety of toxins in our environment daily. But, I’m not talking just about the air or water, I’m talking about the products we consume. They’re literally everywhere! Being able to educate yourself on common toxins that lurk in our food, cleaners, and beauty products, and then neutralize them in your home, can do a world of good when it comes to your health and stress.
• Mind your diet - There are foods you can eat that help your body calm down. Antioxidants are prime right now and always, so those are always good to have. Vitamins and minerals like D, C, B, Zinc, magnesium all help. But being able to use food as medicine and as a tool instead of mindless or unconsciously eating what is easily accessible will help your body. 
• Exercise - The natural way to boost the feel good hormones! Moving and getting your body pumping is an excellent way to deal with stress. 
• Work on connection - Things like journaling, meditation, getting out in nature, and even playing are all ways to improve your connection to your body. These also help with reducing stress on the body 
• Increase controlled stress - Yes, this is a thing! There is lots of research on the benefits of putting ourselves in controlled stressful environments so we can build up resilience for the real stress. Cold/hot therapy, reprogramming your thinking, and lifting weights are all ways to add more stress to the body but in a way where you can control the stimulus to build up resilience when the really hard stuff comes along. 
• Check your energy - With extra stress comes a tired body and with a tired body we can welcome energetic factors that don’t serve our highest purpose. We may even find that the source of our stress or the way we’re dealing with our stress is not something that originated in this lifetime (yes, that’s a thing too!). Working with an energy healer can help uncover and release these things so you no longer need to deal with them.

That was a lot, huh?! Stress is such a big topic and this was just the tip of the iceberg. Ultimately, the goal is for us to be educated about stress and how our bodies respond to it, then find ways to both eliminate stress where possible, but also increase our resiliency because stress isn’t actually going away. But, where we can control our environment and things we expose our bodies to, we can be one step ahead of the game to living more balanced and free. If you’re dealing with stress and need help managing it, let me know. I’d love to help you develop a plan to get your environment in check so you can build up your toolset in this area and get that resilience up. Feel free to shoot me a note at hello@shannonnsmith.com or if you’d like to set up some time for a consult, you can click here to do that. 

I think we’ve all heard the phrase “forgive for yourself, not for others”. I’d heard this for years, however it wasn’t until pretty recently when the words started to sink in and have some meaning to them. I was always in situations where you’re forced to say “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you” to a person for something you/they did. It was empty and meaningless because we were trying to achieve a specific result, not because we meant it. It was one of those things that was the right thing to do in the moment, and often to make the other person feel better.

But what does that really do to a person? A situation? And long term. 

What I'm realizing is that type of behavior hurts. It hurts you as the person who is saying the words and it hurts the recipient because they aren’t receiving the truth from you. It hurts you as the person saying the words because you aren’t able to speak your truth. You aren’t able to fully feel what you’re feeling and process it in a way that’s comfortable for you. You may be required to work through the projections and judgements of others and live the experience through their perspective. I know I’ve been in situations where this has happened and I’ve questioned how I’ve felt or reacted to something because of others. You feel confused because you aren’t sure whether you’re responding appropriately or if there’s something wrong because of the way you’ve interpreted a word, a look, or a silence. You self criticize and question your own natural response for the sake of others. If it happens enough, this becomes a pattern that you have to unwind later.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think we’ve all been in a situation like this at least once. I’m totally including myself in this because I used to be the person to hold a grudge for a lifetime if needed. I took things personally and never let them go. But guess what, this didn’t work out so well. Wanna know something else? I ended up holding onto things that were hurting me, holding me back, and didn’t have anything to do with the person I had grown to be or who I was becoming. Better yet, I couldn’t see any other way for a long time because I was so caught up in holding onto things and thinking about how many times others had wronged me. I was in victim mode. I couldn’t understand anything other than the hurt I had endured and asking “why me?!” for so many things.

Are you still with me?

Holding onto these things took a toll on my relationships, my environment, the things I dreamed for myself, and most importantly my health. When I started learning about the power of forgiveness and WHY we do it, I had to stop and let the concept sink in. Then, I had the harsh realization that I was carrying decades of grudge, hurt, emotion, judgement and so much more for myself and others. Add the element of akashics and past lifetimes to that and I had to sit myself down! I could literally be carrying around lifetimes of this stuff around for myself and others! No wonder I was so tired, unhappy, overwhelmed, and feeling stuck! I was holding onto things that others had likely already moved on from. I was using it as an excuse to hold myself back and I didn’t need to. With this understanding, it was time to get to work!

When something happens, we carry that with us. We carry the people, the emotions, any beliefs that are made up as a result…all of it. It sticks to us and with us whether we like it or not. Then we carry that with us into all experiences. From an energetic perspective, I like to think it clogs us up. It clouds our ability to see and feel clearly and truly for self when there’s enough built up without our awareness. 

Have you ever driven in really thick, dense fog? The type where you can barely see a few feet in front of you. In this situation, you are very careful because you don’t know what’s around you and you just hope for the best while you drive really slow. But you don’t see another way to get to your destination, so you go slow. When we don’t forgive, we’re driving through the dense fog. We’re going slow, sometimes careful, sometimes frustrated wishing for something different, but we’re still going. We don’t see any other way, want something to change, but the fog is still there keeping us from really moving and accelerating like we want to. Or even see others doing. The burden of it weighs us down and we are carrying so many things that we don’t need to. 

Enter the sunshine. When the sun starts to peek through the clouds, the fog gets a little less dense. It becomes easier to see in front of you and your awareness of surroundings increases as well. Your driving speed can increase because you can see and you feel more in control of your destiny and ability to reach your destination. When we forgive, the sun peeks through the clouds until there are no more clouds. We feel unencumbered and free to express and live in the way that benefits us. We can move at a pace that feels comfortable and see more angles of things. We can clear the clogs from our bodies and lives.

What does it have to do with health?

I’ve started to think of it this way: not forgiving = burden. Whether it’s our own burden or someone else’s, it's a burden. But the real question here is, “why would we want to carry a burden if we don’t have to, ours or otherwise?” Life can be hard enough, so let’s make it easier where we can. Carrying burdens can leave us feeling stressed, overwhelmed, afraid, shameful, sad, confused, angry, disillusioned, resentful, disappointed and so much more. When we feel these things, our bodies respond. It can look like digestive issues, mood changes, sleep disruption, hormone imbalances, food cravings, weight gain/loss, chronic pain, skewed perception of self, ability to communicate effectively, interpersonal relationships, and so much more. Kinda scary huh? 

Our bodies respond and all we can do is be grateful because we can fix it! Years ago on the show The Biggest Loser, after losing large amounts of weight, the contestants would be asked to complete a physical challenge wearing weight belts/vests equivalent to that of their previous weight. These tasks were difficult to say the least. But it was a reminder of the burdens they used to carry around. We can release with forgiveness if we want. We can start to chip away and make way through the clouds if we want.

So how do we start releasing?

One of the most effective ways I’ve found is writing. I’ve always been a writer, so I default to journaling or writing a letter to get things out. If writing isn’t your thing, that’s okay, there are plenty of other ways to work through this. Find what works for you and see how it goes.

• Journaling - The release exercise I shared on December 14th is excellent for clearing and forgiveness. It focused on the past but it can be for anything. All of it is releasing and making room for where we’re headed. This can be done with any category or any situation where you’ve been negatively impacted or have the perception of being held back.
• Write a letter - Without the intent to send! State your case and be honest about how you feel and why. The impact on you and your relationship with that person and others if relevant. See from the person’s perspective and potentially why they would’ve reacted that way. What shaped their experience for them to behave that way. See that they’ve been operating from what they know, whether it matches what you want or received. Extend gratitude from this place of understanding and release. Burn it (or rip it up and throw away if you can' turn safely)!
• Ho’oponopono - This is a commonly used prayer coming from ancient Hawaiian roots for  forgiveness and reconciliation. It can be done visually or verbally. One of the easiest ways to do this is to think of yourself in a theater with the people you want to forgive joining you. Invite them to the stage and repeat the prayer to them “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”. I like to add more to this because I want to be clear on what I’m clearing and forgiving. So I include the details of the situation to make sure I have full understanding of what I’m doing.
• Physical release - Move your body. It’s that simple. This is something I’m almost always going to say because it will help release the energy your body doesn’t want to hold onto. Moving after you write a letter or visualization can help move any stagnant energy as well. It gets the endorphins flowing and the blood pumping…it’s a recipe for success.
• Declutter - Clear the clutter from your physical space. This is something I’ve been doing recently and also helps move energy in your home. It can also be a benefit so you aren’t constantly reminded or surrounded by things that don’t serve or support you. 

In my book, there are three keys to make this all work: honesty, reconciliation and gratitude. Once you’re able to get here, you can make magic happen. I’d love to hear about your forgiveness journey and if it’s impacted your health at all. If you need help with the art of forgiveness and interested in what it can do to enhance your life, I’d love to help with that. Shoot me an email at hello@shannonnsmith.com or schedule a Discovery call at this link so we can uncover your best your next steps.

My body is responding to what I put in it. I consumed a couple of things that I don't normally eat. They tasted good going down, but they weren’t what my body wanted. So, in the last few days my body has responded to the stimulus I gave it by way of a little discomfort and weight. Makes sense, right?

So, why am I happy about this? It means that my body is working! And we want our bodies to work, right? I think our bodies are actually working way better than we know, we just don’t understand or like the language it uses. If there was any other thing or topic responding to a stimulus, we would be excited or have a different level of understanding, compassion even. So, why not with our bodies?

We’re conditioned to think that there’s something wrong with our bodies when something “goes wrong.” We make them wrong and then blame them for making us miserable because of the pain, inflammation or discomfort, but what if THIS is the language of the body? What if we can learn to interpret this language just like we learn German, French, or Spanish? Fully appreciating what our bodies do for us daily without us even having to ask.

For most of my life, I was completely disconnected from my body. I wouldn't know an emotion or how to express it if it knocked me over the head. I ate what I wanted and didn't worry because I was an athlete and I needed fuel. Sometimes frivolous, mindless eating lead to discomfort and imbalance in many different ways.

Mood. Weight. Hormones. Disease. You name it, my body did it.

I didn't know that my body was miserable and completely unhappy with me. I was numb. I didn't know that sickness, fatigue, inflammation, and pain were it's way of communicating with me. I couldn't hear it. Many of us walk around like this without any awareness that this is happening. Does this sound familiar?

Would you do that to a friend? How about a little child? If a child is crying, you try different things to understand why there are tears, right? Is it hungry, cold, tired, in pain, have to potty?

We’re taught that we are supposed to control our bodies, but what would happen if we shifted our mindset to that of a partnership and we dance with our body? There is 2-way communication, but it takes the lead to guide the way. What if this entire time, there’s been a 1-way communication from your body that you didn’t know existed? You couldn’t know how to interpret it because you didn’t know it existed. And if you don’t know something exists, then you can’t really be faulted. 

But think about it, if you could have a constant line open between you and your body, how would that feel? No judgement, anger, resentment, just understanding, gratitude and compassion. Flow. How would that shift our days, our lives? If we’re really looking for the communion, harmony, and flow in our lives, it starts with us. The way we talk to ourselves, our bodies, matters.

So back to the example of the little child crying, we want to find out why it's crying. We give it things to see if that will change the child’s response. With each thing we try, we have more information, until finally we have our solution. We can treat our bodies the same way. It may not have the language or vocabulary for us to easily understand, but we can find a way to develop a relationship with it so we understand how it wants to communicate. 

Our bodies want to support us. Inherently, they don’t attack us, they protect us. They want us well and have systems and mechanisms in place to act when there’s a perceived threat. Once I learned that my body always wants to support me, I realized that I was making it wrong for simply doing it's thing. I had to be the one to change if I wanted my body to react differently. So, I changed...and boy did that help!

I released layers, shifted my mindset, improved my environment, changed my diet, began to feel, and got connected. From this, I started to listen and be able to interpret my body’s language. It had been trying to get my attention for so long! Now I see how my body communicates and responds to what I put in it. And it ALWAYS responds! How amazing is that?!?!?

Am I worried about the weight? Nope! It'll be gone with a couple of shifts over the week. So, what's it gonna take for you to understand what your body is telling you? What would it feel like to have a relationship with your body knowing that you’re on the same page? I invite you to consider that and I’d love to help you get to that point! Shoot me an email at hello@shannonnsmith.com or click here to schedule a Discovery call to learn more on getting more connected with your body.

Wait, we're talking about health?

Yes. First, let’s get clear about what I’m referring to when I say health. For me, it consists of the following four layers: 

• Mental: Your mindset and ability to process thoughts clearly
• Emotional: Awareness of your emotions, ability to effectively acknowledge and process them with little to no judgement
• Physical: Connection to your physical form, with little to no ailments causing disruption in optimal function. And/or management of these things
• Spiritual: Practices to connect to self and a broader/higher power. Regardless of belief system, having the ability to connect and be in flow

What I’ve found is that when all of these layers are aligned we are able to access our true selves and be whole and healthy. When we find the things that lead to our alignment on these levels, it’s important to act in that alignment because we will no longer be in integrity with ourselves if we don’t. I’ll give you an example to help a little. Let’s say you have several different friend circles with a variety of interests. You show a different side of yourself to each group, compartmentalizing who you are in the process. It is safe and becomes necessary as your own interests and desires evolve. It does, however, become more difficult to maintain the facade with each because the more you honor a single aspect of yourself, you deny all of the others. Emotions, dreams, thoughts and so much more can be converged and confused with this scenario losing your true self. And it’s not to say we can’t or shouldn’t have diverse interests, it’s when we hide who we truly are in the process, where the disconnect happens. And when you lose your true self, the body responds. Admittedly, this was me and my body responded. Can you identify with this at all?

I know when I was in the midst of dealing with an autoimmune diagnosis I was out of integrity with myself and lots of people around me. Actually, looking back a few years, I couldn’t distinguish what I wanted from what others wanted in many instances. I was a people pleaser and towed the line because it was safer. I didn’t really know better, but I can see the impact now. I said yes or stayed quiet out of habit and to appease others feelings completely ignoring what felt good/right for me. And don’t get me wrong, life wasn’t a complete disaster, but there were several small things that built up to few larger things. 

I’ll never forget being around 16 yrs old and visiting my dad. I met his boss and for some reason I felt like I needed to come off a certain way because my true self wasn’t enough/right/acceptable. I distinctly remember him asking me the type of music I liked. I responded with jazz and something else. We continued the conversation and went about our days. Later on my dad asked me why I responded the way I did to that question. I don’t remember having a good response, it was likely something to the effect of ‘I don’t know.’ Looking back on this exchange, I was out of my integrity. Can you see why? I doubted whether my true response was enough so I changed who I was in that moment to appease someone else. There was no threat, it was a conscious choice. I used to do that a lot.

How does integrity with self play into health?

What I've found is that when I was at my worst, I was unhealthy on many layers. I went through the motions. I rarely questioned or spoke up. I lived in fear and didn’t know who I was. When I finally started realizing who I was and what I wanted, I didn’t know what I stood for. When I finally realized this, it was scary to BE it. When we know we’re supposed to do better and we don’t, we’re out of integrity. We have clear guidance on what we need to do to improve, but we don’t do it or we do the complete opposite. Issues arise. This was me to an extent. There were many areas in my life where I didn’t know what I was doing. I thought I was in flow, but it wasn’t on all layers. That was my key!

I didn’t know all of the layers existed let alone mattered. I would be okay on the mental layer, but physically have all sorts of issues. Or emotionally I’d be a mess and the physical and mental were doing pretty good. But looking back, I can see that nothing was ever actually aligned. Who knew something like that could be so impactful??!?! You’re going along your life’s journey and feeling pretty good, but never really have the full picture. You know what I couldn’t have when all of these things were out of whack...actual health. Peace. Freedom. Flow. All of the things we say we want in life. It was not attainable because it was blocked by this incongruence.

So, what changed?

I was presented with opportunities and started saying yes. I’ve always been genuinely curious but often let fear dictate my choices. But what’s interesting is the opportunities started changing. They felt good and made sense for where I wanted to take my life. The things that needed to fall away because they were holding me back either slowly disappeared or completely imploded. Things that felt uncomfortable became unbearable. I was forced to change my mind, my friends, my habits because the old no longer supported what I needed. It was hard and painful. I didn’t feel good through most of the process either but I followed my inner compass. I learned I had one and I followed it as much as I could.

And you know what? One opportunity led to another and then it all shifted just like magic when I said yes to a meeting because a friend didn’t want to go alone. When I started listening and following what really felt good for me, the universe conspired for me and aligned the things I needed. People. Ideas. Opportunities. But I had to be willing to change what I was doing to see it and take action on it. I had to be willing to say yes to myself when others wouldn’t. I had to believe something else better was waiting for me and hold onto that with every fiber of my being. Health on all layers was waiting.

This is great, but how do I get my own integrity back on track?

It can be really easy if you let it be. Here are some suggestions to implement right now!

• When you make a to-do list, do the things. Don’t make excuses, get them done.
• When you are presented with an opportunity check in to see how you really feel about it. Do you want to do it out of obligation or true curiosity and desire? Install boundaries where you need to and stick to them
• What about your relationships? Are the people around you supportive or draining? 
• How about that idea you’ve had for 10yrs, but you’ve never taken action on? Get behind that and see what would happen if you simply said yes to yourself. 
• How about that room full of clutter in your house? Go through it and release a little of the energetic baggage.

All of these things contribute to being self integrity, which directly translates to your health. If these things aren’t aligned, your body will have a hard time supporting you through the things that really matter...the things that make your heart sing and light you up at your core. 

After all of this, my self integrity is higher than ever. Sometimes it doesn’t look the way I want, but I know it looks the way it needs to. And I don’t have everything figured out, but I’m on the other side of autoimmune, people pleasing, denying self, and living in fear. I’m choosing me and it feels good. As you’re evaluating your own integrity and health, here are a few cues I use to gauge where I am in case it helps you recognize your own. 

• I feel really tired and drained
• I doubt my potential
• I find myself holding back unnecessarily
• I have a hard time making decisions
• I worry about what others think of me
• I feel overwhelmed

Let me know how it goes!

I’ve heard so many reasons from my clients on why they can’t connect to their body and understand what their body actually wants.

Is this you, too?

There are several things that can influence your connection, so I wanted to share some of the things I’ve found that have helped me with mine. Here are seven reasons for you to consider about your connection to your body.

• Environment: Didn’t see this one coming, did you? Well, your environment impacts all aspects of your life, including your health and even the inner workings of your body. If there is clutter, dysfunction, or stress in your external environment there is a chance your internal can be impacted as well. I’ve found that when my space is cluttered or when things aren’t put away, I have a hard time focusing or being creative. I also like to have things that inspire and uplift me close by to help with that balance. When my external environment is in order, I feel more connected to the environment, but to myself as well. 

• Diet: This one is a fairly easy connection. When you put foods in your body that cause inflammation or distress, your body may feel sluggish or out of sorts. But ultimately, you end up focusing on how you’re not feeling well instead of asking what your body wants. I did that until I started learning about the impact of food on our bodies. Eating to nourish and thrive is very different from eating to survive. I noticed that once I paid more attention to my food, and really starting to care about what I ate, not only did I feel better, but my health improved as well.

• Substances: This can be considered as part of diet, or separate. It depends on how you think of it. But substances, such as alcohol or drugs, can inhibit your ability to connect to your body. When you think about it, kind of obvious, right? Maybe not. When we think of substances, they can also be perceived to enhance our abilities and connection to ourselves and others. But, if something is enhanced, what if another thing is diminished? There is less chance of balance with all things firing if a substance is involved, and there is also risk of things we don’t want interfering as well. When I stopped drinking alcohol, I noticed the connection to my body improve.

• Expectations: If you have an expectation about how connecting to your body should look or feel, you may miss what your body needs. We’ve been sold the story of connection as being in complete bliss and calm all day everyday. But that isn’t it at all. In my opinion, connection is finding the calm in the chaos, but not completely avoiding the chaos. It’s finding a way to connect regardless of the situation, without a belief or expectation of how that is supposed to be. If we deny what feels natural to us because of an expectation, we deny the flow and connection that’s waiting for us.

• Movement: Any kind of movement improves our connection to the body. Paying attention to your breath, the muscle movements, possible sweat, and your mood all require connection. Determining whether to continue or stop...that’s connection. My preferred movement is dance and I always feel connected when I do it because I have increased awareness of where my body is and how it feels. Going for a walk iis also a favorite because I get fresh air, but also get my blood pumping too.

• Play: Do you take yourself too seriously? I know, we’re busy ‘adulting’ which requires us to manage responsibilities and obligations, we’re working and holding everything together. But what’s the toll? I’ve found that when I take time to draw or color or even create something with my hands, not only do I feel creative, I feel less stress, more focused, and more connected. Finding some time for a play break may be your key to connection.

• Energetics: Since it’s me, you know I have to mention potential energetics that may influence your ability to connect to your body. Things like akashics, cords, contracts, and walk-ins can all factor into your connection. They can enhance or prevent your connection to the degree you’d like it to be. I’ve definitely had some of this going on, where I wasn’t consciously aware of the energetic factors preventing connection to my own body. But, once I was aware, and picked up key tools, it made a world of a difference. This is something you can uncover in a session if you feel it’s relevant for you. 

Does it make a little more sense why you may have had trouble connecting with your body? I know, it can be frustrating if you haven’t figured it out yet, but it will come. In my experience, I’ve found that all of these things have factored into my ability to connect with my body, and increase connection when I want to. We all are different and our bodies require different things to function, so being open to try a variety of ways to connect is helpful. Plus, you never know when you’ll find something new that you like!

Happy connecting...

But over the last 6yrs I’ve learned that not only does my body have a voice, the more I listen to it, the better I feel.

So you’re telling me, if I listen to my body then I can feel better?

Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying! 

• Adjust your mind: I had to learn that my body has a voice and didn’t want to work against me. This shift changed my whole life. If you know that your body has a voice, that it wants to talk with you and work with you, and know that you can connect and listen to it anytime you want to. But the first step is to know that it is possible and that you can do it just as easily as the next person. 
• Quiet your mind: After you shift your mindset to know that your body has a voice, the easiest way to start listening to it is to get quiet. Meditation is the way I started with this process and is the most commonly recommended tool to quiet the mind so the body’s voice can shine through. By getting quiet and stopping the brain chatter, your body can start to shine through.
• Clear the clutter: I’ve found that when my space is not clear, my mind is not either. There is an energetic pull to having too many things in your physical space, which can get you off your center. By taking a look at your space and making it more clear, fresh, and organized you can help your body relax and improve your ability to hear its messages. Sometimes you can feel your space breathe a sigh of relief when you do a big purge...it’s a good feeling.

There are so many reasons to learn to connect to your body and listen to how it really wants us to work with it. Personally, I’ve found that it can be fun to work with your body daily to flow in and out of situations. It’s like we are a dynamic duo instead of mortal enemies. We just have to learn how to connect and listen.

We’re going to be talking about this and so much more over in the group so feel free to join us. Join the conversation!

I’ve been exploring the relationship I have with someone I’ve known for almost 20yrs. It didn’t dawn on me until recently that I should look into what we’re supposed to contribute to each other’s lives. I think the reason for this is we don’t communicate often and when we do, it’s not bad, sometimes awkward, but still amenable. I have to admit there have been a few times where I’ve thought “why don’t you just go away? This isn’t going anywhere! Ugh!”

BUT, I’ve started to gain some clarity into our lessons for each other.

Back to the reason we cross paths with others. Sometimes it’s because we need to help each other through a difficult situation. Others, it’s because we need to learn a lesson and this is the only person to help. Have you ever noticed being in a situation and help seems to come from nowhere? It’s like that person was sent specifically for that reason. Yeah, that! That’s what I’m talking about! And this person’s place in your life can be short-lived or decades. 

Do you have someone in your life like this?

I know when I started getting deeper into energy work people started disappearing from my life. It was like I would shed a layer, then a person. And another layer, then another person.

I cleared my gunk, and the person attracted to that gunk disappeared. Or I realized that by healing something in myself, a lesson was learned and that person didn’t have as much of a purpose in my life. It took a while to realize that it wasn’t the other person’s fault. I got really mad at several people for up and leaving me, but realized it was my doing not theirs. I had all sorts of thoughts about abandonment and “how dare they treat me like this!” Nope, it wasn’t pretty. 

James Redfield talks about this in his The Celestine Prophecy series where the main characters are “vibrating at a higher frequency” than a group of bad guys looking to hurt them. During the hunt, the bad guys are right in the same place as the characters, but can’t see them. They can’t resonate with their energy, so they’re literally invisible to them. Although this is a fictional book, the concept matches because the more clearing and healing you do for yourself, the more you will attract like and the more you will release unlike. 

So, what happens when you take a step back, see someone for their core light, or a situation for the lessons it’s meant to bring? You see there aren’t ulterior motives as you once thought. And if there are, they aren’t about you at all. It’s all about the other person. It almost always is!

We are all walking on our individual paths to learn and discover what we can for ourselves, and then when we cross, that’s the time to discover the common lessons and beliefs and victories. You see the gift of each relationship and the relief knowing you have the power to learn needed lessons, while maintaining all of the things that support you and bring joy to your life.

I’m off to do some clearing, reconciling, and connecting with my friend!

In my own healing process I’ve expected things to go a certain way. I actually didn’t think I’d be on this journey to be fully honest with you. Looking back now, it makes perfect sense, but when it started I didn’t realize what was going on. I was curious about an email series I started receiving and reading. Bam! Awareness. I said yes to go to a workshop for personal development. Bam! Possibility. I ended up saying yes to Reiki just because it sounded cool. Bam! Acceleration. Both questions and answers started popping up right before my eyes but I knew not what it meant. Over the next 3 years I had a series of events to follow cues, uncover layers, hit some dead ends, and discover more layers. But never having anything end up the way I thought it should. None of it. Not one thing. 

But guess what? I know everything has been exactly what I needed and that nothing I’ve wanted along the way could have been as good as it actually turned out. I never expected that a health diagnosis could be the key to unlocking my freedom. My ticket to learn, ask questions, and explore the deepest darkest depths of myself to question my fabric and create a new one. To have me cross paths with some of the most important and influential people in my life, and let go of others because it’s not part of the journey anymore. I couldn’t have expected it but I wouldn’t have changed it either. I’ve uncovered layers, never in a “logical” order but always in perfect order and time. So what does that say?

When we’re looking to make a change in our lives, small or radical, we are asked to let go of our expectations to let what is supposed to come in, in. But that isn’t always easy is it? In law of attraction you are taught that like attracts like and that when you want to attract or manifest something you have to act as if you have that thing already. It’s in your life already you just have to align with the energy of the thing so you can bring it into your awareness. What many people miss, is you can’t dictate how that thing is going to show up. You can ask for what you want and you can get crystal clear on why you want it, but the how is left up to faith, the universe, the cosmos.

But why is that? We as humans want to dictate. We are taught to control and design and expect. Identify all of the factors, consider all of the perspectives and permutations of possibility. At least we think we are. We limit ourselves by resisting flow. What if you’re asking for something too small? What if you’re asking for something you don’t need right now? What if you can’t see that by getting what you think you want, you’re actually hurting yourself or preventing what you need, before you can receive and fully benefit from your true desires? What if you’re preventing your dream from getting to you quicker and in a more beneficial way?

So why are we blocking ourselves with the expectation that something is supposed to go a certain way? What’s so wrong with trusting in the process and feeling and being grateful for what is, in the moment? Why close off the possibility that something can happen in a different timeline, but better than you imagined...if you let it? What if you’re doing great by taking baby steps and flowing with your growth as it comes? Let’s give ourselves permission to grow and change in a way that feeds our soul.

Why am I interested in helping people?

Why have I made it my mission to help others with health and wellness?

Why do I think it’s so important for people to be empowered in their health and armed with as much knowledge about their bodies as possible?

Why is it important to take control?

I’ve gone inside because I’ve had to. I reflect on the struggles I’ve had with health and how I hope for others to not experience the same. I reflect on the things I’ve seen with others and stories I’ve heard about their journey and wonder if it had to be like that. I see the strain on the current medical system given our global circumstance and wonder why the system has been set up in such a way. To hear conflicting guidance in some cases, invoking fear and confusion which has honestly made me extremely mad. One of the things I really want in the world is to stop using fear as a weapon. I want you to embrace fear when you know it’s stopping them from pursuing your dreams or moving forward in life. I also want you to question when fear is projected upon you. Question whether your perception is your true perception or if it’s that of someone else’s. What I want is for you to be intune with your body enough to know when something is off. I also want for you to know how many resources are available to you outside of the norm of pills.

I want a world that knows about oils, energy, natural solutions, and possibility. That the little voice in your head can be a friend if you let it guide you to your intuition. I want you to know that you’re cared for and that it’s possible to care for yourself just as easily, if not better, than someone with a title. I want you to embrace connection with yourself and others in the spirit of compassion, love, and caring just because. I want you to feel free to play when you want to and express yourself without the fear of judgement of others. I want there to be hope, truth, support, and community.

I didn’t realize that when I started this journey it would be to help myself first. To see the systems and constructs for what they are and aren’t. And to also see the same of people. To understand what the human body can withstand encompassing the entire spectrum of good to bad. That I’ve had to see the darkness of loneliness, pain, fear, disappointment, unknown and lies to get to the light. To get back in communion with my body by clearing out the things that no longer serve it. To learn to fall in love with my body for its strength and resilience, and really learn to take care of it and listen to what it wants and needs. And to give it those things when it asks. To know that it will never let me down no matter what anyone else wants to tell me.

I am grateful for this reminder, in light of our current circumstance. That, because of my own journey, I can help with the tools to help others find some peace and light during this time. This is personal for me and this is necessary to remember my why. For you and for me.

Show me what you’re working with!!!

Often this look in the mirror is difficult. We lie to ourselves and to others about our situations. We come up with different versions of the truth to suit our mood or circumstances because it can make us feel better. But what benefit is that really?

When you work with a financial advisor you have an initial consult to understand your financial goals but also your current financial situation to understand what you’re working with to build a plan, a tailored plan, to help you achieve your financial goals. You have to get out the spreadsheets, the calculator, the receipts and statements. You have to get real. It isn’t pretty but you have to do it so you and your advisor know the truth, so you can build the right plan to achieve your goals. The same goes in health. You have to look at the weight, body composition, sleep and diet habits to get to the core of your issues and how that shapes your day to day, today. It isn’t helpful to you or to your coach/advisor if you lie or cover up habits. Don’t worry, it would come out anyway when it’s time to look at your results.

You know on the weight loss shows where the person has the opportunity of a lifetime to work with a world class trainer, then has the meltdown a few weeks in because they aren’t losing the weight, they’re an emotional wreck and they’re blaming the trainer for not doing enough? Then the secret video footage comes out with them binging on ice cream and pizza at 3am because that’s what they’re used to. Yeah, that! It comes down to being honest and taking ownership for your current circumstance and taking responsibility for your part in where you are today. It’s not pointing a finger, it’s saying, “you know, I am the reason I am here and I am the one who can get me out.” Plain and simple. 

I’m doing an inventory for myself right now. I do this periodically or when things feel particularly off. Here are some of the questions I'm asking:

• Am I allowing my body to move enough?
• Am I fueling my body so it has what it needs to perform when I move?
• Am I getting enough sleep to reset and process?
• Am I giving myself the space for self care and respecting what that looks like when I do it?
• Am I honoring my energy and boundaries in everything I do?

These are all things I’m asking myself now and I encourage you to do the same. If you aren’t sure how to do this or where to start, I’m happy to help you in your journey. As a trainer, coach, and healer I ask people to do all of these things, but I can’t ask others to do it if I’m not doing them myself.

So if you aren’t where you want to be or think you should be, take inventory to see what’s off and what’s possible to change. But don’t forget, honesty is your friend here.

I thought about what it took for me to get up and out this morning and how grateful I was that I could on my own. I thought about how many other people struggle to get their day going and what it takes to get through the day. Later in the day I learned that a couple I know has extra help to get their kids ready in the morning. They coordinate dropping the children off but have the means to have extra help just for the morning and other extenuating circumstances. How awesome would that be?!?! I could use a little help just for me!

So back to my friend. I admired his ability to keep his cool and wear his mask so gracefully. Everyone in this scene was wearing masks and projecting their respective agendas upon the others, but some less aggressively than others. We do this everyday. Some are operating out of fear, some are empowered to get through their day as desired. Others dont have the tools they need to get by, some have tools that are just within reach but pride is in the way preventing them from their relief. This had me thinking about what each of us actually goes through each day, day in and day out, and what we project to the world in the name of an image. Okay, sometimes it’s image and others out of necessity.  

We all experience varying levels of circumstance to navigate in addition to the daily stressors of a job or relationship or just simple survival. And we don’t know it. We see co-workers and engage in meaningless banter throughout the day but rarely get to know someone as a being. Knowing what we each go through can help us show a little more compassion, empathy and understanding for our respective human being and what they may be going through in a given moment or day. I thank my friend for his example today, for reflecting upon my efforts to show up, and the reminder to practice empathy and compassion daily.

I had conversation with my dad that took an interesting turn regarding boundaries. He told me about increasing job expectations getting in the way of his life balance. He also said he was having conversations to get assistance because he wasn’t happy about the situation and it needed to change fast. I thought, “go dad!” because he knew very clearly where his boundaries were and crossing that line wasn’t an option. But I also wondered why it’s so hard for us to speak up to honor our boundaries if they mean something to us. 

 

Here’s the energetic spin. When you set boundaries you are saying, “this is what I’m willing to expend my energy on or willing to accept when it comes to something entering my energy field.” There’s a give and take that occurs and your actions have direct implications on your body or energetic container. You know the saying “your body is your temple?” well, this is the same except we’re not talking about food, we’re talking about energy. Have you been in a conversation with someone who pulls your energy? Or a location where you felt obligated to be, but wish you had said no instead? We’ve all felt the drain...that’s our boundary talking!

 

It’s one thing to set boundaries, but another to honor and hold others to them. And it’s much easier to enforce boundaries when it comes to other people, but you also have to hold yourself accountable to your own boundaries. Things like bedtime, events, eating that food, or saying certain things...those all count toward boundaries. 

 

What happens when your body says you haven’t set or followed your own boundaries? I had a bout with this recently. I was feeling a bit run down and still tried to push because that’s what I do. I’ve gotten much better at listening to my body, but sometimes I’m a little stubborn. I made small adjustments, but didn’t fully stop like I should’ve. So, my body said “okay, fine. If you won’t stop, I’ll stop for you.” My couch and I got reacquainted for a few days. Of course you don’t want to get to that point, but sometimes that’s what it takes to let the lesson sink in. I’ve even gained weight due to stressful situations and filtering others’ stress for them. Yup, that’s possible too!

 

So what do you think about boundaries? Do you have your own and keep them like your life depends on it or do you keep them loose to keep your options open?

We grow up learning that we have to give it our all, but not always being told that if it doesn’t look the way everyone expects it to look it’s okay. There’s a certain expectation that goes along with effort. If you put in a certain amount, then the result should be a certain output. That’s basic math, right? But what happens when that formula doesn’t add up?

 

A funny story for you. When I was in the 3rd grade I became really chubby. Let’s just say some things happened and the need to move became mandatory. As a fix I was enrolled in soccer, which I had never played before, but it’s an active sport, so easy solution. Even though this made sense, I knew nothing of the game and was very out of shape. In my first game I was placed at the half back position and it was a complete disaster! I ran to one end of the field in time to see the ball switch to the other end of the field. This happened the entire game and there were tears...lots of tears. I can still see my dad yelling and running the sideline to get me to move. I can laugh now but it wasn’t funny back then. I gave what I had and it wasn’t near enough. Was I wrong? Of course not, I didn’t know any better. I worked with everything I had and gave my all. Turns out, I came up very short in this situation but that’s okay. 

 

Health hasn’t always been my friend. For that reason I’ve had to learn what my body can or can’t do. It’s meant compromising plans and sometimes relationships because people didn’t always understand what I was doing or why I set a boundary for an activity. When health is the priority you get really clear on what you are willing to do and when. Even then, you have layers of that depending on the day. One day 100% really is that. You’re firing on all cylinders and everything just lines up. Another you are at 75% and your best is just that. But your all doesn’t align with everyone else’s 100% because you simply don’t have it. What do you do?

  A few things have helped me change my perspective on this.  

1. It’s never safe to compare yourself to others. When I realized how different my “race” is, it became much easier to stay in my lane and focus on my own life instead of others. I started thinking about what I was going through to get through my days and how each person really has their own journey, which can consist of completely different goals or objectives. That’s not my business, my goals and objectives are. How I fare in that, that’s up to me.
2. Giving what I can is enough. When you realize we each have our own journeys, it’s much easier to look at your life to see how to focus your time and energy. Some days you can give 110% and cross everything off your to-do list with time to spare. Others, you have exactly 60% and prioritizing is the name of the game. Neither situation is right or wrong, rather a circumstance. When you are able to see this, it’s easier to cut yourself a little slack when you can’t push like you want.
3. Give yourself credit. I didn’t use to celebrate myself. I was great at celebrating others, but always belittled my own accomplishments because I was supposed to do them. Well, that changed. I started giving myself credit for showing up. Yup, simply showing up and giving what I could. I also look at progress to see how far I’ve come and give myself credit for that. This makes the hard times easier and the easy times, well, better. When you learn to celebrate yourself for showing up when you don’t feel your best, you build compassion. And when you have that, it can go a long way for yourself and others. 

So, are you giving enough?

Many of us, women in particular, hold back and keep ourselves small to appease others but at what expense? We lose ourselves in who we think we should be, the roles we’ve taken on that are defined by others. We become the person defined by those around us, but lose or never really know who we are at our core. Without the judgements, projections, masks, and other things that we take on to define our identity but isn’t really us at all. We live playing by all of the rules, coloring inside all of the lines, fearful of what would happen should we decide to stray from this box. But what would happen if you decided to think outside of the box a little? Or find a rule that didn’t really sit well with you...and go against it because you were taking an action that was more true to yourself. What if you set a boundary with a person or a situation or released an expectation? What would life be like then?

 

Being able to speak up and express what you need and want in life to live isn’t something we should make ourselves wrong for. It is something we should consider “normal” and healthy. Seeing that we are worth the love we want, that our opinion is valuable, and that we add value to everyone’s lives we touch every single day. And that we can do that with the simple power of our word. The power that comes from finding your voice and speaking up when something is wrong in your eyes. What if another person in that same situation also thinks it’s wrong and is afraid to express just that? Or what if it isn’t about right or wrong, but simply speaking your truth? Why wouldn’t that be worth sharing or expressing to those around you? I posit this is a matter of confidence, of will, of fear, of self love. 

 

Asking questions and being afraid of perception if one asks questions is something I’ve grappled with my entire life. I had this most of my professional career. I didn’t ask a lot of questions and it was perceived that I wasn’t present in conversations or want to participate. Really it was me being afraid of being seen as not knowing what was going on or being judged for giving the wrong answer. I really wanted to participate but didn’t want to look bad by asking a “stupid” question. I also had an issue thinking I was in certain situations because it was to take notes, not to be an active participant in the meeting or situation. I was being asked to show up and didn’t even know and couldn’t step up in this way because I couldn’t see myself as this. I didn’t have my voice. It’s funny because writing this I look back on a situation with work where the client was upset with me for asking so many questions because I wasn’t afraid of how it would be perceived. How could such a change happen?

 

I was always a really good student, so I either had the answer or was able to figure it out fairly quickly. This was actually something I prided myself on, both personally and professionally. What I didn’t realize, though, was I created an identity for myself and if I ever decided to change or that this identity no longer suited me, there could be a consequence. I also have been known as the person who has the answers or has an easy way to find answers, so if you’re that person asking questions really doesn’t fit. But why take that and all of that pressure for yourself? Sometimes it is given and not asked for, but regardless, it can be changed if you want it to. 

In Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, there is a point where she talks about showing up in your own life. About being willing to dare greatly and bet on yourself. To live your life on the court, not as a bystander sitting in the stands watching from afar. When I read this book a few years ago that part struck me to my core. I hadn’t found my voice yet. I had to ask if I was living in the bleachers or if I was on the court. I was in the bleachers! Starting to find my voice was a big factor to getting off the bleachers and getting onto the court of life. This is exactly what the woman in the article did. She decided she was done living for her ex and wanted to live for herself. She wanted to do the things that lit her up and not dimmed her light. She realized she wanted to surround herself with people who supported and uplifted her and encouraged her to be the best version of herself. She found her voice and didn’t turn back. 

Have you found your voice?

We are taught not to challenge and to take a word because a certain person or group says it is so. Some cultures find it extremely disrespectful to question elders or those in perceived positions of power, so you take their words and counsel out of respect and to stay in line. But who are they to tell us what is right/wrong or how to think? It’s all about programming. A couple of examples of how I’ve seen this show up in my own life through parents and close friends. I think we all have a moment when we realize our parents didn’t receive an instruction manual on how to be a parent and how to deal with all of the twists and turns that may come with parenthood. Actually, there may not be a manual, but there are plenty of opinions and people willing to share their perspective based on their own experience.

So we grow up following our parents, not thinking about anything other than they’re who we follow because they are our parents. Then you have a moment (or several) where you realize they may not know what they’re doing and they are completely winging it to the best of their ability. I made mine wrong when I realized this the first time, but now can appreciate that they were doing their best the entire time. It may have been influenced by some people who also didn’t know better, but they, nonetheless, did the best they could. When I realized this, I was able to see them the same as me in that we’re all trying to figure out how to do our best in this life. Can you really ask more than that? Not really, but you can ask what information passed down to you is worth saving or re-evaluating and tweaking for your own life. 

 

Same thing goes for friends and trusted advisors in your life. I had a friend who I put on a pedestal because they were older and had more life experience. I held onto their every word because of it and never thought twice until many years after we met. What I realized is they were giving me their perspective on situations and topics, but it wasn’t something I needed to take as gospel. It got to a point where they told me this and I was upset with them. They were my trusted advisor, but they were also telling me not to take their word even though they were offering it. I remember being mad at them but also mad at myself for not having the mental discipline to think for myself in certain situations, but relied on someone else’s so-called wisdom to get me through my own life. I have since forgiven myself for not knowing any better and forgiving this person for just being them.

 

This is also something that is perpetuated with a 24hr news cycle and with so many sources of information that can be either unreliable or biased because it is targeted at a certain group. It is also hard to tell what is worth accepting due to the sheer volume of information we have at our fingertips; sometimes it’s hard to sift through it all and make sense of what matters to us.

 

Sometimes it can be hard to know what is truth or an accurate portrayal of a story because there are so many spins on it. You know that saying “there are 3 sides to every story, yours, theirs, and the truth” it kinda make sense because we put so many distortions on things and the information we receive isn’t often validated because it came from a certain source. We just accept and don’t validate to see if it’s something to believe. What if you were to give yourself permission to ask questions and discern whether a story, situation, or piece of information is for you and is accurate? What if you were to hear something and take a few seconds to process the information to see if it resonates with what you believe to be true in the moment given your life experience and belief system? And what if you gave yourself permission to trust your gut reaction when someone tells you something that doesn’t quite resonate with you despite them being someone you respect and value their opinion? We have to get to a point where it’s okay to trust ourselves and go with our gut and know that we will be okay for doing that. 

 

So, with that I ask: What is your truth?

After a year with the football team, I started getting requests to work with the softball and tennis teams on my own. I did it because I was asked to, but I didn’t always like it because I was the only trainer with those sports. It was all on me. I found it to be lonely because I didn’t have the same team dynamic with the other trainers. I also had to setup and clean up on my own as well so it was more work. What I didn’t realize is I was being asked to branch out into these other sports because my leadership had confidence in me to work on my own. I was getting a promotion and didn’t realize it. I just saw that I was on my own and working with people I didn’t know. 

I don’t remember being a trainer with either of these teams for very long because several things changed. I passed on a number of good opportunities which could’ve helped me grow more at the time. I got scared and in a sense, quit. So I look back on this experience now and wish I had a different perspective back then because I couldn’t see this opportunity for being just that because I was convinced something was being taken away from me. I also didn’t have the confidence in myself to be on my own with an entire team so I would’ve never been able to be successful in this position despite my leadership’s confidence in me.

I think about this because my perspective on the situation significantly limited the possibilities I could see for myself even with something I loved doing. I’ve thought about other times where my perspective on a situation impacted my ability to see my potential or the so called light in a situation, limiting the outcome. I also wonder how many of us do this to ourselves daily and could make a shift in our lives with a quick shift in perspective about a situation we’re in.

Can you relate at all?

This can also be the same if someone tells you their experience with a person and you base your interaction, or lack thereof, based on that person’s perspective. I know I’ve done that. I’ve based my opinion of someone on what another person told me. I didn’t think about all of the factors that may have contributed to that person’s opinion and that I didn’t actually have to take that on as my own perception of that person. How many experiences I could’ve missed out on? What I could’ve learned if I stood on my own and formulated my opinion of a person based on my own experience. This, instead of letting another’s experience dictate who I interact with and how. It makes you think. 

Is this emotion mine? Is this something that I’m supposed to deal with or is it someone else’s? Even better, am I processing this situation or emotion for someone else, which is causing me to dedicate my energy to things that don’t actually serve me? Is this a battle I should be fighting or have I convinced myself of the need to fight someone else’s? Is this even mine?!?!?!!?

We take on an identity as a “people pleaser” because we are told that it’s the right thing to do to help someone when they are in need. No matter what. No matter the detriment or impact to ourselves. Is that right or okay? It’s something worth exploring because there could be a laundry list of things we’ve taken on that have nothing to do with us. We could spend years getting upset over something because we’ve adopted that problem as our own and it has absolutely nothing to do with us. Not to say that it’s wrong to help friends and family in need, but to do so with awareness to protect our own space so we aren’t out of whack with our own energy.

It’s about fully taking responsibility for our own stuff so we can deal with it and process it, and letting others do the same for themselves. About holding space for them in their time of need and not taking on the role of processing for them in that act. It gets easy to rely on others so we can point the finger when something goes wrong, but there’s so much power in knowing that you are and have the capacity to take care of your own. 

So with that I ask, are you fighting your own battles or letting others decide for you?

We are taught not to challenge and to take a word because a certain person or group says it is so. Some cultures find it extremely disrespectful to question elders or those in perceived positions of power, so you take their words and counsel out of respect and to stay in line. But who are they to tell us what is right/wrong or how to think? It’s all about programming. A couple of examples of how I’ve seen this show up in my own life through parents and close friends. I think we all have a moment when we realize our parents didn’t receive an instruction manual on how to be a parent and how to deal with all of the twists and turns that may come with parenthood. Actually, there may not be a manual, but there are plenty of opinions and people willing to share their perspective based on their own experience.

So we grow up following our parents, not thinking about anything other than they’re who we follow because they are our parents. Then you have a moment (or several) where you realize they may not know what they’re doing and they are completely winging it to the best of their ability. I made mine wrong when I realized this the first time, but now can appreciate that they were doing their best the entire time. It may have been influenced by some people who also didn’t know better, but they, nonetheless, did the best they could. When I realized this, I was able to see them the same as me in that we’re all trying to figure out how to do our best in this life. Can you really ask more than that? Not really, but you can ask what information passed down to you is worth saving or re-evaluating and tweaking for your own life. 


 

Same thing goes for friends and trusted advisors in your life. I had a friend who I put on a pedestal because they were older and had more life experience. I held onto their every word because of it and never thought twice until many years after we met. What I realized is they were giving me their perspective on situations and topics, but it wasn’t something I needed to take as gospel. It got to a point where they told me this and I was upset with them. They were my trusted advisor, but they were also telling me not to take their word even though they were offering it. I remember being mad at them but also mad at myself for not having the mental discipline to think for myself in certain situations, but relied on someone else’s so-called wisdom to get me through my own life. I have since forgiven myself for not knowing any better and forgiving this person for just being them.


 

This is also something that is perpetuated with a 24hr news cycle and with so many sources of information that can be either unreliable or biased because it is targeted at a certain group. It is also hard to tell what is worth accepting due to the sheer volume of information we have at our fingertips; sometimes it’s hard to sift through it all and make sense of what matters to us.


 

Sometimes it can be hard to know what is truth or an accurate portrayal of a story because there are so many spins on it. You know that saying “there are 3 sides to every story, yours, theirs, and the truth” it kinda make sense because we put so many distortions on things and the information we receive isn’t often validated because it came from a certain source. We just accept and don’t validate to see if it’s something to believe. What if you were to give yourself permission to ask questions and discern whether a story, situation, or piece of information is for you and is accurate? What if you were to hear something and take a few seconds to process the information to see if it resonates with what you believe to be true in the moment given your life experience and belief system? And what if you gave yourself permission to trust your gut reaction when someone tells you something that doesn’t quite resonate with you despite them being someone you respect and value their opinion? We have to get to a point where it’s okay to trust ourselves and go with our gut and know that we will be okay for doing that. 


 

So, with that I ask: What is your truth?

In previous posts I talked about clearing energy up through the heart chakra, which means there’s been some clearing in the lower chakras to feel more stable, confident, connected in relationships, emotional awareness, and with self love. Clearing these is great so you can feel stable in your life, how you treat the people around you, you are more confident in your ability to do things and believe in yourself...but something is missing. What if you can’t tell anyone about all of this greatness if you don’t feel comfortable telling anyone or your vision for your life is limited? What if you are becoming this amazing version of a human being and coming into your own to finally see your potential, but hiding in the shadows?

You have no voice and are afraid of being visible to let anyone witness the change. You may not even see how it all comes together but you know something is coming together. This is where the throat chakra comes in, it’s about communication and finding your voice. The next chakra is the third eye and it’s about having sight of the full picture and expanded awareness. With these now open, one can take this new confidence and share it with the world. They can see how, when, and where to do that in a way that is best for their individual situation.

Over time I’ve begun to give myself permission to show up at work in new and different ways. I’ve become way more comfortable getting in front of groups and talking. Not only talking (because I’ve delivered trainings for years) but actually stepping up to organize gatherings and being the face of things. I NEVER would’ve done that before. I realized I had gotten really comfortable being an amazing #2 and never saw myself as having the potential to be an amazing #1. I didn’t believe in myself to be that. I didn’t see that and how it could be part of how I operate.

That realization was a hard pill to swallow, but really digging in and seeing that as something to work on and not beat myself up over was way more beneficial than I can describe. I’ve expanded my view of what’s possible for myself in my work, I’ve changed how I interact with those around me to have more meaningful relationships, and I’ve showed up in a way that some have been waiting for years to see (because they believed in me before I had the courage to believe in myself).

I’ve found that I am able to deal with stress that inherently comes with my job in new and better ways. I was working with a new leader recently and she thanked me for being so calm through a rather turbulent transition on a team. I told her, “I don’t get spun up, so you’re welcome, but you’re not getting much else from me aside from this.”

My laid back nature hasn’t worked for me in many instances because people can perceive it as being disengaged, when in fact you are more plugged in than the folks around you. I’ve always been extremely observant, but unwilling to speak up in some cases when in a group because I didn’t think my point was valid or that I wasn’t in the meeting for a speaking role. After being told directly (several times) that there’s never a meeting I shouldn’t feel comfortable speaking in, I had to take a hard look at why I didn’t feel comfortable. I was blocked... 

I talked about the quality of my personal relationships, but work relationships have improved significantly too. I am a much nicer person to be around, but I see more of the good in people because I’m less judgmental about how I perceive their actions. I have several people now wanting to work with me and wanting to help me with things. I’m also better able to interact and connect with people to build cohesive teams so they get their work done and are more productive.

I’ve found that it’s about meeting people where they are and learning how they receive information, rather than forcing something into a specific mold and getting upset when they don’t do what you want them to do. Once they see you are willing to bend a little to help understand them and work through a situation using everyone’s mutual strengths, they’re more willing to bring their best to the table each day. This changes the dynamic of teams, how we work internally, how we’re perceived from the outside, and whether we like each other enough to stay in touch after it’s all said and done. Each individual’s energy shifts, contributing to a more powerful unit and end product.

Remember back in the very first post I mentioned the healer saying my throat chakra was blocked? Well, it’s opened up and I’m finding my voice and finding ways to comfortably be seen. I’m finding ways to stay in my comfort zone of laid back, but also lead with grace and understanding because that is often what’s required but missing from many situations I find myself in. I can also see how my shifts are impacting others and contributing to my broader mission in life...

How do you see yourself in your job? Is it exactly the way you'd like it, or is there room for improvement? What is one thing you can change right now for the better?

What is it and how is it used?

Reiki is an energy healing modality with roots in Japan. It uses the concept of universal energy, or “chi,” to facilitate one’s healing. Our world is made up of energy and we each have our own energy fields. Central to this energy field are our energy centers, or chakras. We have 7 main chakras that run the core of our body, and when disrupted, can impact your body in many ways. When your energy is out of whack, a reiki practitioner can help identify a/the cause and help you work through potential solution(s). You don’t need a specific problem to seek Reiki either, it can help with relaxation as well.

How did I find out about it? 

When I found out about Reiki I didn’t know what it was, but was curious. It was a random mention in conversation and sounded really cool. I did a little research online and thought the concept was really interesting.

 

What was my first experience like?

A few weeks after initial research I was home for Thanksgiving and found a local practitioner. I didn’t know what to expect, but she was very nice, and made me feel comfortable. The session lasted about an hour and she told me a few things were blocked, particularly my throat chakra, which meant nothing to me at the time. I didn’t feel anything during the session, nor did I feel any different after, so I just said, “okay.” I spontaneously cried the next 3 days and thought I was losing my mind (so did my mom). I’m not a crier and didn’t know what to do, so I started trying to explain what was going on...hello, throat chakra! Why did I decide to get trained?I was asked to join a friend because you need 2 people for a level 1 class. Yes, it was that simple. My natural curiosity helped, but there wasn’t much else to it. In the middle of class I knew it was meant to be.

So, I spontaneously cry for 3 days and then say yes to attend a training because they needed another person. Less than 2 years later, I’m certified to teach...what happened? 

How were you introduced to energy work and healing? Do you have a fun story? I'd love to hear it!

So, why all of the tears? It turns out the unprocessed emotions were stored up energy waiting to be released. When I had the first Reiki session it stirred up lots of things, which resulted in lots and lots of tears but it was the easiest way for my body to offload what it no longer desired. I like to say Reiki can be akin to a Roto Rooter for your chakras. If your energy is blocked, you’ll know, and when you’re no longer blocked, you’ll know that too. I had a similar experience during my level Reiki 1 training whereby the super Roto Rooter came through and literally cleared up as much as my body would allow at the time.

Whhooooshhh! It was extreme and a rollercoaster. Imagine a garden hose that has a knot for every year you’ve held onto your emotions instead of processing. You may get a trickle of water...eventually...if you’re lucky. Now think of your emotions as those knots, but being released one by one to gradually let the water flow. What would that release be like and how would you react? You’d certainly freak out, but once that was over, you’d start questioning what you were holding onto and why. Then you’d ask again...and again...and again.

When you start to deal with your emotions it clears up space to do all sorts of things. You are able to identify the effects of unprocessed emotions in yourself and others when they are doing the same. You become more forgiving of yourself when you realize you are experiencing an emotion and give yourself permission to explore it because you initiate an inquiry into the emotion, and release it so it doesn’t continue to haunt you or fester becoming something bigger and scarier. You become a super sleuth to explore and clear what you can because you are now aware of the impacts of holding on and the freedom that comes with processing and letting go. You feel lighter and realize each tear, sensation, question were all worth it.

For me, the emotions impacted my mood, reactions to things, interactions with others, health, and overall well-being. Literally everything. I could really be an unpleasant person to be around...and for no good reason. When you live being okay with “not dealing” you take on too much and overextend yourself. You draw unhealthy limits for yourself and create unrealistic expectations for others. You end up being miserable for no good reason and since you’re all blocked up you can’t even find the words to explain how you feel!

The clarity that came with releasing so much emotional baggage heightened my awareness in myself but also interactions with others (we’ll talk about that later). Now I choose to honor my emotions and am no longer afraid of them because I realize how integral they are for healthy living. And I feel so much better for it! The energetic impact of these unprocessed emotions really isn’t worth the cost, either.

How has dealing with your emotions helped you in your life? If you haven't gotten to the point where you regularly do this, what would it take to get to that point?

You learn to set your own boundaries to protect your energy and learn to honor it to a better degree. You learn a new way to relate to people better because there is less judgement. When you open the space to see and experience an emotion for what it is, there’s less room for projections and truly see situations and people for what they are in the moment. There is a presence that’s possible for you to simply show up and meet people where they are instead of projecting your own prejudices or projections on people. And not to say they don’t exist anymore, but you are able to see them and then dig into why you are doing what you’re doing. This has allowed me to open up and receive a new set of tools to operate in the world. 

‘But how does this really work?’ is likely what you’re asking, so let’s go back to the chakras to explain. Remember I mentioned there are 7 main chakras and they function as energy centers for our bodies, which extend out to our overall energy field. When something is “off” with a chakra, it will appear in a certain way depending on which chakra(s) is/are involved. Our 2 lower chakras are related to some of the following: safety, survival, fear, stability, desires and relationships. So imagine a string of 7 lights running along your spine up to the top of your head (the chakras run the length of your spine, lower sacral region to the top of your head) and imagine the lights needing to be clean and bright to run your energy field effectively (working from the bottom up), kinda like solar power producing electricity with the sun. Now imagine the string of lights with clouds and surrounded by gunk. Dim light...maybe some power…not operating effectively across all areas..higher chakras in the chain not seeing the light of day or allowed to do their work.

How can that show up in one’s life? I used to be willing to carry a grudge to the grave. If I found a “good” reason to pass a strong enough judgement, then it was over. I wrote people off and didn’t really see a problem with it. But I also bent over backwards for lots of people when I shouldn’t have because I thought that’s what I had to do to get them to like me, maintain a friendship, or help me. My presence, on its own, wasn’t enough in my mind. I lived in fear of so many things that prevented me from meeting good people, seeing people for who they really were, learning who I really am, and kept me restricted from opportunities.

Doesn’t sound very appealing does it? I admit it wasn’t to be living it either. I can actually think of a few examples of where I was more comfortable letting others’ opinions casually become mine and then when being forced into a situation, really seeing what I was missing out on (sometimes for years) because I was afraid to have my own opinion, which may have been different from what others wanted me to have. Stick with the norm, stay in the lines, be someone else’s version of safe…

I’m finding a way to be there for others in a way that I couldn’t before because I wasn’t fully present for myself. Coming from a place of love, compassion, and empathy were not things I really knew how to do and they certainly aren’t things we are taught in school or throughout life if we aren’t intentional about it. Learning these things for myself first, being forgiving and giving myself permission to be and show up for myself helps to understand how it can be for others and then to do that for them.

We are taught from the earliest of ages to live conditionally and to earn love, attention, acknowledgement. Then we figure out all sorts of creative ways to contort ourselves to cater to many versions of ourselves we’ve created over time, to different groups, and may lose who we are in the process due to fear or a lack of knowing that an inquiry into this behavior and it’s roots is possible (this has a lot to do with mindset, which comes next). 

My lights were dim and blocking all of the other lights from receiving what they needed to perform. Now, however, my lights have power! And when a little gunk is there I don’t freak out, I inquire and deal with it. Don’t get me wrong because I’m not saying I have all of the answers, but it’s been a great process to see how this stuff works! I show up for myself, then for others, then they show up for me, and then new people show up...it’s pretty neat!

Do you have an experience where you've noticed a change in how you relate to others? How has this made an impact in your life? What about for others?

Last time I mentioned how clearing out energy in the body/energy field impact the other areas. If you live in fear or feel unstable, that shows up a certain way in life. A little story...about 1.5yrs ago I did a live video challenge to speak about something I wanted fixed in the world. I chose fear because it was relevant for me, as I was speaking to myself. For that 4 minutes I was terrified. I’ll bypass the antics I went through to psych myself for it, but I shook the entire time, and cried after. Sounds pretty dramatic, huh?

I admit it was, but after pulling myself back together I had to ask what all my internal fuss was about. I was afraid of being seen, heard, judged, being right/wrong, and everything else. I was afraid to live, let alone out loud. It was that inquiry that led me to also think about where I was limiting myself in my life and then I got mad. What was wrong with me? How could I do this to myself? How could I fix it?

The next 2 chakras primarily deal with things like courage, confidence, comfort in your own skin, creativity, and love. These mighty chakras are the solar plexus and the heart. This is what I needed and you know what...I cleared those bad boys out! Not to say all is solved, but want an easy example of how I know this stuff works? THIS POST. And any other post I’ve done on this topic. I’ve done videos about what I’m up to and am no longer living in complete and terrified fear of what people think. And even when there is fear, it doesn’t lead to paralysis. It leads to recognition that it’s there, thanking it (yes, I thank the fear), and telling it I’m going anyway. Of course some decisions take a little more time to act on, but there is movement.

One of the things I like about Reiki, but all energy work, is it’s about helping others, coming from a place of love and respect. Reiki actually has principles if you choose to apply them to your days: Just for today, do not worry; do not anger; earn your living honestly; show gratitude for your blessings; be kind to your neighbors and to every living thing. This isn’t about religion either, let’s be clear about that. This is about remembering that everything is okay, being respectful, not beating yourself up, and showing compassion. It’s about forgiving yourself today because tomorrow you can try again. Who likes to beat themselves up over inconsequential things? Some of which aren’t even ours to begin with. My hand is raised! We all do it, but how fast can we recover from it? Spinning on such negativity that will bring a person to their knees. When you are aware of your thoughts you can remember that you’re likely doing the best you can and that there’s no real reason to beat yourself up over things.

So how did I start thanking my fear? When you clear some of the energetic gunk you can see that’s only doing it’s job. Our bodies are primed for fight or flight response, so when there’s a threat, guess what happens? We get scared and our bodies respond. I thank the fear because I know my sensor is working, it’s alerting me of “pending danger” even though it might be something like an action out of my comfort zone, not being chased by a lion who thinks I’m dinner. I also look at things in my life in addition to those I don’t yet see because I know they are coming. I thank them for being there, shaping who I am and becoming.

Have you ever taken a look at your life and felt real appreciation for the things in it? That you have a roof over your head, food to eat, or a job that pays you regardless of the amount? It’s neat to really look at things, see how they add to your life, and truly be appreciative of their contribution even if you aren’t where you want to be yet. Magic is waiting after that mindset shift.

This can lead to increased confidence and an expansion of what’s possible for yourself and your life; dreaming and helping others do the same. Not that you didn’t dream before, but the shift to believing you can actually achieve something you have held back for years. In health coaching I really like using the term “self-efficacy,” which is one’s ability to believe they can complete a task and on their own. I am expanding my own confidence to see possibilities in my life I didn’t before and increasing my self-efficacy because I see expansion can be scary, is necessary but possible. Really believing there is something within yourself that can make that dream happen or even that you can have access to resources that will connect you to what can help make that thing happen if you don’t see directly for yourself. Changing the conversation from “wouldn’t that be nice…” to “what would it take for me to make that happen for myself?” How do we all do more of that?

What are the types of thoughts you think most frequently? If they aren't quite where you'd like them to be, what would it take to change them?